Delving deeply into the confusion surrounding “personality disorders,” I wonder: Aren’t they really self-perception disorders? Or could we say identity disorders?

Personality is the set of behaviors we show to others. Those behaviors come from the interaction between our self-perception (our experience of who we are), the coping strategies we’ve developed, and the situation we’re in.

For example, if I perceive myself as competent and likable, and I’ve learned that approaching others with a confident smile and an open manner has worked well in the past, then I’m likely to stride into the next job interview or date exhibiting a warm, friendly, direct personality.

This sort of self-perception is likely to serve me well throughout my lifetime.

If I perceive myself to be helpless and immature, plus I’ve learned that certain people seem to enjoy taking care of me and guiding me, then might I not develop a Dependent personality? This, also, “works” for me, at least for now.

Furthermore, wouldn’t I tend to seek out those sorts of situations where my self-perception fits nicely? If I had a Dependent self-perception I’d look for environments and relationships where I would be cared for; if I had a Histrionic self-perception I’d look for opportunities to show off and be the center of attention. If I had an Avoidant self-perception I’d bury myself in my work or some project I was really good at, so as to avoid all those other situations which make me feel inadequate.

And, I would actively strive to create my ideal environment. I’d manipulate people into taking care of me by exaggerating my neediness and childlike qualities, or I’d flaunt my sexuality to get even more attention, or I’d act aloof so that people leave me alone.

My personality would become more and more extreme, more “disordered,” as I attempted to make my environment conform to my self-perception needs.

And as I got older, my urgent needs and all the baggage attached to them would become less and less cute or alluring or enticing, and more of a problem. Kittenish clinging, flamboyant sexuality, James-Dean-like distancing … these acts often play well in the teens and twenties, but not so much so as the characters age.

Think of aging rockers and over-the-hill movie stars, whose self-perceptions (and the personas attached to them) are no longer in sync with their age, appearance, popularity or cultural relevance.

Think of the excellent Mickey Rourke movie The Wrestler; Rourke’s character is in his 50s, yet still wrestling because it’s the only way he’s equipped to approach life. His identity no longer works well in the real world, but it’s all he’s got.

The older I became, the  fewer people would be interested in supporting my needs and the more people would be turned off and find me difficult, quirky, rigid, undesirable. My self-perception would have generated a problematic, a “disordered,” personality.

So, isn’t disordered self-perception the root of the problem?

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From Psych Central's website:
PsychCentral (March 6, 2010)

Michael Chitty (March 6, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 6 Mar 2010