It is so amazing how organizations are popping up all over the world helping us join forces to tackle mental health diseases.  I was privileged enough to speak in Athens, Greece a few years ago about iFred’s rebranding depression work, and learned from countries around the world just how important it is we work together to solve our greatest challenges.

I’ve just recently been asked to join their advisory board, and continue to be amazed and impressed by the work of all throughout the world.

It was celebrated across the U.S. when we were able to get mental health parity law passed.  I don’t by any means intend to minimize this work – but do we realize that what we accomplished was to treat the brain in a similar fashion to the heart, liver, and intestines?  Should we really have to fight that hard for that?  Those that were involved in the legislation understand the intense work, dedication, and challenge this simple piece of legislation involved – and unfortunately the rest of the world is so far behind us in many different ways.

Recently I told someone I thought they could benefit from therapy, because they were having a series of issues in their life.  I was surprised when I heard the response ‘But I don’t have a mental illness.’  It shouldn’t surprise me, as a big part of my life’s work is rebranding depression and the associated stigma, but still for some reason the comment left me with my jaw to the floor and raised the question:  Do people really think you have to be diagnosed with a mental illness to benefit from therapy?

I was pondering what to say back when I read an excerpt from “A Practical Guide to Meditation and Prayer” by J. Douglas Bottorff.  It is literally the most brilliant advice I have read in quite some time that helps articulate why anyone can benefit from therapy.  Do me a favor; read it a few times, and just sit with it for a bit and let me know how it resonates.

It reads: 

I’ve been talking about the upside a lot – and I think it’s important for friends, family and coworkers to all realize there is a MAJOR upside.  There is also something that I think a lot of people would benefit from understanding, in terms of the downside.  And if people did, they could save a LOT of painful, ultimately pointless conversations and conflicts.

Just as the ADHD mind has the ability to go on and on, on positive subjects with new, creative, brilliant, juicy ideas…  the opposite can unfortunately happen as well.  If you aren’t careful and don’t understand this, you can end up making the situation much worse by engaging the ADHD mind instead of finding a way to end the conflict (or save it for another time). 

If you still don’t believe there is major value to the disorganized, scattered, wayward way of the ADHD mind, let me share an example of how it works.

Now, this may not be the best solution ever for solving the gay marriage issue, but it’s something my ADHD mind came up with that I guarantee a person who thinks along logical, straight lines might never imagine.  Our minds simply work in different ways.

I came up with the thought in bed this morning, while reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book Committed, about the entire marriage concept.  She talks at length about why we get married, the failure rate of 50% that would never be tolerated in any other government run program, and our ongoing desire to ‘get married.’  It makes me wonder why on earth people don’t scrap this institution, and come up with a new one that works.

The discipline of Psychology has come up with some fairly simple rules to follow for fighting fair, and it amazes me how each and every day we ignore these rules and suffer again and again from their lessons.

The recent shooting in Arizona has brought up a lot of this, but I am reminded when I hear of bullying, the divorce rate, and the constant battle of the media and politics.  While Psychology is far from perfect, it is an evolving discipline (as are we) and I would think we would take at least what we do know, and use it to our advantage.

Fighting fair is an art, and it needs to be taught in school and practiced throughout every relationship.  Yet it takes a great deal of discipline, and it seems few have it.   The amount of hurtful words we are constantly spewing out of our mouths, on an hourly basis, is creating a majorly toxic environment.  Our kids are learning how to treat each other through the television, politicians, adults, and teachers – and what kinds of fighting are we doing every day?  

People with ADHD often have a hard time fully engaging in experiences, as their mind is constantly jumping around from one thing to another.  As our lives get busier, sex seems to fall off the radar screen so we can do things like feed the kids, make money, and meet our ever-increasing obligations.

This can hurt both the mind and relationships, as a healthy sex life is important to both mental health and intimacy if you have a significant other.   Often times people ‘fit it in’ because that is all they have time to do.  Yet there a few simple, profound things you can do to get more engaged and have a fully pleasurable experience.