I find because of my ADHD I am often impulsive, change my mind, and moving from one project to another.  It makes it challenging for others to trust me but I have found effective strategies – as those that know me well will say I am the most honest person that they know.  So how do I manage?   It may take some work but I do have some ideas.

I have found a number of things to be extremely effective in helping secure follow-through on my end. Things that I shared with others, and let them know would be helpful if they implemented on their end. In the end, we were both happy.

What are they?

It is easy when I don’t have a lot going on. But when I do, the following tips have really helped ensure success for my follow-through:

1. Ask people to clearly communicate goals / objectives to you.
2. Create a budget — any budget — and monitor it.
3. Have weekly meetings / progress so you stay on track (this can be with anyone).
4. Create a ‘scope’ and set boundaries.
5. When asking for a commitment, ask for a week to think about it (or ask them to offer it).
6. Don’t always trust the first thing out of my mouth — and try to keep the first thing out of your mouth inside your mouth until you are sure!
7. If something is really important to you, ask me to NOT respond right away and let me think about it. This can save a lot of trouble from #6.
8. Encourage me to follow through on my projects, finishing one thing before I start another — and don’t talk about extra projects until I do.
9. Hold me accountable for what I do / don’t do and gently show me how it does or does not align.
10. Remind me about what is important in life — relationships I have with others — and why I need to continue to build on them.

These can actually apply to any relationship / situation. Even scope — what is the scope of a romantic relationship? Are we working together? Do we include each other in everything we do with friends? etc. etc.

There is a great article on Oprah about setting boundaries; it can help immensely if you have trouble in this area.  I think people with ADHD have a particularly challenging time with integrity, but it can definitely be done we just have to be aware of what helps / what prohibits our ability to have it. And once we master that, we have a real chance at success.

What do you find helpful in relationships that allow you to be better in follow-through?

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    Last reviewed: 22 Mar 2010