By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
Zoë thinking about putting the laundry away. Honest. Photo: ©Jake Chegahno, 2011
I had the privilege of interviewing Melissa Orlov, author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage recently (blog post to follow). Melissa and I talked about her upcoming course (starting April 25) for couples in a mixed marriage (i.e., one ADHD spouse, one non-ADHD spouse).
Discussing the trials and tribulations arising from the ADHD elephant in the room, I was inspired to come up with some of my own marriage-saving tips.
Here are some of my ideas to rid your home of these ADHD traits:
- distractibility
- lack of structure
- allergies to housework
- frequent mood swings; and
- poor memory
I hope these tips help you. If not, there’s still time to sign up for Melissa’s course.
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
Marilyn Strong
I asked Marilyn Strong to assess my progress with implementing her Action Plan based on her book Getting Paid to Pay Attention. Here’s what she said:
Zoë:
I’m so proud of you. I believe you did an amazing job this week. Good for you! Give yourself a high 5!
No one (except you) expects to get everything right, in the right order, the very first time you do anything. How many times did you fall off your bike before you figured out how to balance? Right. Once you learned how to balance you never forget how to ride a bike!
It’s the same with the using any tool or technique. There’s a learning curve. My job is to help you get through the learning curve in a very short period of time, not the 20+ years it took me!!!!
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
Zoë Kessler speaking at the ADHD Through the Lifespan Public Forum, with Dr. Timothy Bilkey, April 4, 2012, Barrie, Ontario, Canada
If I’m supposed to be getting paid to pay attention, I’m pretty sure my paycheck will be docked this week. Or at least that I’m on an apprentice’s salary because there’s no way I’m up and running just yet.
In this follow-up report to my April 3rd blog post, Solo Business Owner? Get Paid to Pay Attention!, I’m going to look for the positives in an effort to encourage myself to keep going.
Why? Because I’m still excited about Marilyn Strong’s approach, and I want to give it a fair shot. Quitting at this point would not only be premature, it would be unfair to me, to my business, and to Marilyn’s hard work.
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
The Ford Focus. I'll say no more.
Since at least 1993, research about the dangers associated with ADHD and teen drivers has been piling up faster than cars at the Indie 500. Even so, judging from a recent NY Times online article (Learning to Drive With A.D.H.D., by John O’Neil, March 26, 2012) it’s still news. Why?
I’m glad that the issue is getting media coverage. I’m disappointed that the association between ADHD and risky driving (especially in adolescents) isn’t common knowledge by now.
How many accidents, from fender-benders to fatal, might have been prevented had this info been made public when it was first recognized?
For the most part, O’Neil’s article is informative, well-researched, and encouraging. It might even save lives. That said, I was frustrated I couldn’t comment on it online, so I’m doing it here.
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
Zoë Kessler speaking at ADHD Across the Lifespan, with Dr. Timothy Bilkey
Shhhh…. don’t tell Marilyn I said that!
I was supposed to have started her excellent program based on her book, Getting Paid to Pay Attention, this week. Hmmm…
Egads! What have I done? I’m thinking I picked the wrong week to start Marilyn Strong’s program for solo entrepreneurs.
I want to get organized and be more productive. Of course I do! But what was I thinking? I just don’t have a regular life right now. Ok, I’ve never had, and probably never will have, what you might call a “regular” life, but I was hoping that at least I could get a little structure going.
But no dice. Let’s take, for example, last night. According to my Action Planner schedule, the “Big Picture” includes a stop-work time of 6:00 p.m., lights out (to get my 8 hours of Zzzzzz’s) at 10 p.m. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… Last night, I didn’t even get home until 11:30 p.m.
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
A month ago, a new resource for solo business owners with ADHD was launched. Heralded by both business and ADHD luminaries, including T. Harv Eker, author of #1 NY Times bestseller, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind; and Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction, and many others, Marilyn Strong’s book, Getting Paid to Pay Attention – Why Your Business Suffers from A.D.D. and How to Fix It is a slim volume that nonetheless packs a punch.
I especially appreciated Strong’s warm, personable, and encouraging tone, and her light-hearted sense of humor.
Diagnosed herself, Strong has experienced the unique and sometimes devastating challenges faced by an entrepreneur with ADHD. Like many (if not most) of us ADHDers, Strong is multi-talented, with a varied career path. Currently, she’s a solo entrepreneur, working as a marketing and business strategist and trainer (in addition to being the author of Getting Paid to Pay Attention).
Strong’s well-researched book gives a brief overview of ADHD, but focuses on the symptoms that most often plague our businesses: procrastination, distraction and hyperfocus. Her insight into these symptoms, and her ability to describe how they directly relate to our businesses, is a fresh new take on ADHD.
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
I was having a great day. Then, I sat down to fill out a form. It was a week overdue, but I called the company that was waiting for it, and bought myself more time.
Things were humming along grandly, then Whammo! I hit page two. Page two contained a line of legalese which meant nothing to me, yet I was supposed to check yes or no. Yes or no to a statement I understood about as well as I understood William Shatner in Incubus (shot entirely in Esperanto). It took three phone calls to find out that no one at the company wanting me to answer this question had any clue what it meant either.
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
This week felt like slow motion PMS. Instead of being condensed into three days, the emotional rollercoaster chugged along from Friday to Friday, punctuated by highs and lows, with various heights and depths in between.
Step right up…
Are you someone who is pretty much on an even keel most of the time? Yes? Then let me give you a taste of the truly enchanting existence of an ADHD woman, who is also a highly sensitive person (HSP), and going through a deeply emotional experience (death of a loved one. Again. Three in nine months, to be exact), but contrasting that with a natural propensity for joy and happiness.
Seatbelt strapped tight? Here we go…
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D., author of The Now Effect
Yesterday, in ADHD: What The Now Effect Can Do for You – Part I, I began my conversation with Dr. Elisha Goldstein, author of the recently published The Now Effect. Our conversation continues as we explore how Goldstein’s new book might help those of us struggling to manage our ADHD symptoms.
Here is the conclusion of our discussion.
Zoe: Your chapter, Paying Attention to Your Intention discusses the importance of being aware of our intentions. What do you suggest for the person who, like myself (before my ADHD diagnosis), is aware of their intentions but unaware of why these intentions so often achieve the opposite result of that which we intended?
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By Zoë Kessler, BA, B.Ed.
“The writings and practices in The Now Effect don’t only come from my experience, but from the experience of thousands and thousands of people who have struggled with a whole host of life’s issues from stress and pain including anxiety, depression, ADHD, addiction and trauma.
Underlying the entire book is the aspiration to develop more playfulness with yourself and allow this to be a new adventure into your life.”
~ Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Here at Psych Central we’re excited to congratulate fellow writer Elisha Goldstein, PhD, on the publication of his latest book, The Now Effect: How This Moment Can Change the Rest of Your Life (Simon & Schuster, Inc., 2012).
Dr. Goldstein, a clinical psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles, writes a blog for Psych Central called Mindfulness & Psychotherapy.
As mindfulness meditation is seen to be an effective treatment for ADHD (when included in a multimodal approach), I decided to speak with Goldstein to find out if his latest book has something to offer those of us with ADHD.
Here’s our conversation (abridged for the purposes of this blog post).
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