My new desk, less ADHD mess!

Yesterday, I gave a progress report regarding the 5 areas of life identified by ADD Coach Nancy Ratey as part of a holistic approach to self-coaching.

Today, I’ll report on my self-coaching goals of addressing my ADHD symptoms of disorganization and procrastination. When I made my commitment to self-coaching, these were the two areas I identified as priorities.

disorganization – improvements

1 ) I bought a new, grown-up desk with 3 drawers.

Drawer 1: calculator, letter opener, ruler, book ‘o passwords

Drawer 2: post-its, checkbook, staples, dry erase markers

Drawer 3: hanging folders with files for current projects and an expandable file with monthly tabs for ALL my receipts (with dates & amounts highlighted in yellow as per my last progress report. Thanks again to Sidney Parker Holt, author of ADD Simplified)

2 ) Current project files color-coded

Purple – business-related folders for my book

Orange – chapters of my book-in-progress

Green – folders for documentary (in collaboration with Rick Green, producer and director of the award-winning documentary, A.D.D. & loving it?!)

Yellow – freelance writing articles (ADDitude Magazine, etc.)

3 ) I’ve transferred audio files from interviews immediately to my computer and have properly named them. Yay!

4 ) Structures

For my book: a detailed outline, plus deadlines to which I am legally bound. Deadlines and fear of breaking my contract: two of the best motivators there are to meet goals and stay organized!

Over the past month, my overall daily structures have been sabotaged by my dog Samantha’s illness. I’ve written at length about how Sam’s kept me on track; unfortunately, that structure is out the window now, but I’m working hard between vet visits, trips outside, and all the other intensive care she needs.  (If you feel so inclined, please say a little prayer that she starts eating on her own again. Thank you.)

5 ) New daytimer

I treated myself to a new planner, called the “President.” It made me realize that I have it all backwards. I’d been thinking organization = complication.  How perfectly Zen to learn that the most simple of tools has been one of the most helpful.

Are you ready for it? A perforated edge on the bottom corner of each page that lets me rip off a triangle of paper once the week is over. It’s so much easier to find the current week page now! It’s made me realize how much having to search for phone numbers, e-mails, and – yes – the right page in your planner – can be psychologically exhausting and horrendously time-consuming.

6 ) Simplicity

Further to the Zen of simplicity: I’ve streamlined my monthly bills by rolling 3 different suppliers into one. I now get one bill from one company, instead of three separate bills at different times, with different accounts, from different companies. It’s making keeping track of these essential office expenses, and paying them on time, so much easier. Hurrah! (and I’m saving some $ too).

Needs Work

1 ) Computer file & folder organization

With the increase in my workload and number of projects on the go, my computer files are getting disorganized.  I made the mistake of not thinking through my projects initially and setting up good organization for my files. I need a manageable structure.

A complicating factor is I have multiple uses for several types of files (e.g.: interviews with ADHD experts, research studies, etc.)  Do I file these with my book folders? My freelance writing folders?  In my blog folders? Or do I make duplicate copies?

Same for images and photos, I use them for many purposes. I need to think this one through and set aside time to organize, getting help if necessary. (If anyone has any good ideas about this, I’m happy to hear ‘em!) Maybe I’ll check some writers’ resources.

2 ) Piles

Lovely, lovely piles. They’re still everywhere. I know I’m losing important notes I’ve jotted down on pieces of paper. I definitely need to set aside time for regular filing and pile management.

3 ) Designated Journals

I tried using dollar-store journals, with the idea that different colored ones would be designated to different project notes. I ended up writing everything and anything in all of them! This is making me crazy, crazy, crazy. Now I’ll have to go through each and every journal, page by page, and transfer all the information to a NEW journal – with a clearly marked title on it.

NOT! As if that’s going to happen!

Solution: 1 ) buy new journals (I still like the journal idea for hand-written and easily accessible notes instead of torn off pieces of paper flying willy-nilly around the office) and

2 ) label them immediately and prominently. And I must swear a blood oath to never, EVER, write anything in it that isn’t related to the designated topic. Wish me luck with that!

Procrastination

Who’s got time to procrastinate?

Summary

Overall, I’m delighted. I’ve created exactly the work life I wanted. I’ve got a good friend who is also a mentor and business advisor, and who doesn’t hesitate to (gently) kick my butt re: my goals. I don’t even have to ask her to do this!

I’m collaborating with some great people, and opportunities are pouring in. My collaborators also set deadlines, help with goal-setting, and generally ramp up my accountability and motivation to keep on track lest I let someone besides myself down, thus marring my professional reputation.

There’s always room for improvement, but my life is more stable, productive, and happier than ever.

And if I can do it –  so can you!

Good luck! (And I’ll try not to let a another whole year go by before reporting again, especially to share more helpful tips!)

Let us know how you’re doing with your goals, and what tricks you’ve learned for keeping yourself on track and your life (relatively) balanced.

Funny, I’ve been thinking about reporting for a couple of months now, but didn’t because I didn’t want to bore you with all my self-coaching posts. Sheesh. You must have thought I’d fired my coach!

The best news is that I’ve been so busy actually working on my goals, I haven’t been thinking about managing them. The downside is, I probably could have been more efficient (and productive) had I paid more attention to my self-coaching program.

Still, given how traumatic and eventful 2011 was, miraculously, I’m delighted with where I’m at.

I’d love to hear about your year, and any new tips you’ve discovered to keep you on track, and help you to maximize your potential. Here are some that have worked for me, and some areas I’m still working on.

first, I had to jog my memory

In preparation for this update, I read over my last Self-Coaching Report. There are some pretty good tips there, so if you haven’t read it, I’d encourage you to do so.

If you’re not familiar with the concept of self-coaching, please refer to my previous blog post(s) with ADD coaching guru Nancy Ratey, author of The Disorganized Mind. It was Ratey’s book that inspired me to attempt self-coaching (that, and I couldn’t afford a real coach).

what a year can bring…

Also to prep for this report, I reviewed my analysis and the goals that I’d set based on The Disorganized Mind.

While I set immediate, short-term, 3-month, 6-month, and long-term goals, I neglected to date them. Oops.

One of the things I liked the most about The Disorganized Mind is that it takes a holistic approach. Each area of one’s life is considered. Here is a brief report of how I’m doing in the five areas identified in Ratey’s book.

section 1 – professional life

Under the question, What problems do I experience in my job? I listed 13 items. Of these, I’ve eliminated 7, improved upon 2, and feel that 4 of them could use more attention.

section 2 – physical health

I still want to exercise more and get into better physical condition, but these aren’t immediate priorities. I’ve started doing 15-30 min. of yoga most mornings, and that’s improved my overall health.

section 3 – social life

I’m curbing my social activities in lieu of writing my book (a memoir) on women and ADHD, and to take advantage of a few other fantastic, and timely, opportunities that have come my way. On the other hand, I’m working hard to keep my friendships. So far, so good.

I had originally identified 10 stressors. …7/10 of these have either been eliminated, or significantly reduced.

section 4 – spiritual life and sense of well-being

One question in this section was, What stressors are present in my life? I had originally identified 10 stressors. I’m happy to report that 7/10 of these have either been eliminated, or significantly reduced. Woo hoo!

section 5 – financial life

On the positive side, I still have the same part-time work, I did a lot more freelance writing last year, and I’m living in the same apartment (which means I haven’t incurred the expense of moving – again). I’ve also eliminated 90% of my debts.

I’m being true to my “mission statement,” which is to “completely commit myself to writing …” I’ve been able to reframe my perceptions of my financial life through writing my blog post, The Top 10 Happiest Jobs – Not Just For ADHDers!  When I discovered that “book author” was #4 on the list, and confirmed that most authors aren’t making much (if any) money, somehow that eased my worries that my ADHD had sabotaged my income. Nope, at least not entirely. The stereotype is sad, but true: writing books is not what you’d call the most lucrative of professions – ADHD or not.

Tomorrow, in Part II, I’ll review my progress on tangible goals and share some productivity tips that you can use.

Stay tuned!

The Möbius strip has the mathematical property of being non-orientable. So does my ADHD life... Photo by David Benbennick; licenced under the Creative Commons

I don’t know about you, but before my ADHD diagnosis, my life was kind of like an Escher painting: lots of elements looked normal, but the big picture was definitely screwed up.

I particularly relate to the drawing where you’re not sure if the figures are walking down the stairs, or up the stairs, or both. It’s disorienting; it’s anxiety-provoking; the perspective leaves you feeling slightly off-kilter.

If you have undiagnosed ADHD and you see these works, something inside you screams: Hey! That’s me! Continuously moving, but never getting anywhere!

Getting off that Möbius strip to nowhere

One of the best ways to move forward is by learning all you can about ADHD, and in particular, YOUR ADD/ADHD, and how it impacts your life. I’m encouraged by the number of ADHD bloggers who are doing just that.

Some of the blogs that I’ve listed have been around for a while, some are brand-spanking new (do you wince when you hear the word, “spanking”? I do. My hyperactive inner child’s bottom burns at the mention of that word, but back to our story…)

Thanks and congrats to these bloggers!

New! ADHD: My Son and Me

Blogger mom, Brandy, and her 13-year-old son Drew, were both recently diagnosed with ADHD. In a unique blog format, they take turns posting about their experiences with ADHD. The posts are well-written, funny, and insightful.

Here’s to Not Catching Our Hair On Fire!

Blogger Stacey Turis is not just a genius, she’s a comic genius, and a wonderful writer. She describes her life with ADHD as, “a giant cluster-bomb of a life,” but also says, “I wouldn’t trade my superhero powers for anything.” You’ll LOVE her blog.

New! Women with ADHD: Creative Minds with Different Order

The content on this blog is well worth the read, especially if you’re newly diagnosed. I have one beef about the blog:  it’s written anonymously. This runs counter to the fact that the writer takes an adamant stand that ADHD should be out of the closet… I’ve pointed this oversight out, so, we’ll see what happens.

The blog has a positive approach,  shares some solid information, and has a funky wallpaper and some funny stuff!

Mungo’s Adult ADHD Blog

I’m not sure if Mungo’s planning on updating his blog or not, but what’s there is definitely worth the read. Check it out!

SPAZZ

Maria Fleuette DeGuzman’s comic illustrations about her life with ADHD are so much fun! I admit, I have a soft spot for anyone with drawing, painting, or any other visual arts talents – which I don’t. DeGuzman’s illustrations are full of energy, life, and verve (that’s a word I’ve NEVER used in my writing, so that’s gotta say somethin’, right?)

hsp health blog

As so many of us with ADHD also have the trait of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP, a genetically-based trait), I thought this one would be helpful to many. There are lots of tips about every aspect of living as an HSP.

Do you have any new favs?

I hope this list introduces you to something new and tasty!

Please let us know if you’ve discovered any new ones worth sharing, especially if you’ve started one yourself!

Enjoy!

A couple of weeks ago I was listening to the early morning show on a Saturday and making an omelette (yes, that’s something I can actually cook!) The host, Mary Ito, spontaneously decided to ask her listeners to send in words that they had made up.  Great! I thought. I’ll tell  her about my word “blurtatious.”

I was delighted when my e-mail was read on-air. I was not so delighted with Mary’s comment afterwards. Don’t get me wrong; Mary’s a nice, apple-pie (or should I say, Tim Horton’s – we are, after all, Canadian) kind of gal. I’m sure she was being friendly. But her comment is one we ADHDers so often hear. You know, the one where you mention you’ve lost your keys again, and the listener says, “Oh, I do that too!” Even if unintended, it can have a totally minimizing and undermining effect. And that is how I felt when I heard Mary’s comment.

Being Zoë Kessler, ADHD Warrior Princess, I decided to try to set the record straight.

So, I wrote Mary an e-mail. We’ll see what happens. Here’s what I wrote:

Hi Mary.

My name is Zoë Kessler and I’m an avid listener of Fresh Air. A couple of weekends ago, you invited listeners to share their made-up words and I submitted (by e-mail) the word blurtatious. I explained that my ADHD impulsivity sometimes comes across as “flirtatious,” but that, in fact, I was actually impulsively blurting, thus: “blurtatious.”

After you read my e-mail on air, you commented, “Zoe, you don’t have to have ADHD to be blurtatious.” You’re absolutely right; most people occasionally experience ADHD traits such as impulsivity.

Unfortunately, with ADHD,  “occasionally” turns into “often,” and thus the diagnosis.

When a large sampling of adults were asked if they had experienced the 18 clinically recognized ADHD symptoms (including impulsive blurting) OFTEN,

69% of diagnosed ADHD adults (on average) said yes

ONLY 4% of Non-ADHD adults (on average) said yes

(Barkley, 2010)

As a woman who has suffered – lifelong – from the effects of ADHD, I’ve worked (since my diagnosis at 47) to educate myself and others about what ADHD is, and what to do about it.

While you don’t have to have ADHD to be blurtatious – or to lose your keys, be distracted, or annoyingly tap your pen on a desk – (all ADHD stereotypes), these behaviors (and more) become problematic when they’re part of ADHD.

An occasional blurt to the non-ADHD population can mean mild embarrassment; to someone with ADHD, chronic blurting can lead to lost jobs; destroyed relationships; and ultimately to chronic anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

ADHD is a neurobiological disorder. It’s stereotyped as a condition of hyperactive little boys; girls often go undiagnosed and suffer the consequences – academically, socially, or both.

Almost as little is known about ADHD in adult women. I am one of them.

I hope you’ll help me to dispel the rampant stereotypes, myths, and misinformation.

I’d like to share with your listeners what it’s like to be diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and how ADHD affects women differently than men.

I’d be happy to do this by sharing some of my own story, which includes becoming an expert on women and ADHD. I’ve written a radio documentary called Jagged Little Pill for CBC Radio One’s Outfront, and standup comedy on living with ADHD for CBC’s Laugh Out Loud.

Currently, I’m writing a memoir for New Harbinger Publications, a highly respected psychology and self-help book publisher in California; … [summary of my work in the field; you guys already know that stuff]…

I’m available for an interview at your convenience.  I’d be most grateful for the opportunity to help educate your listeners about the pitfalls and the gifts and opportunities of being a woman with ADHD.

I look forward to hearing from you in regard to my proposal.

Cheers,

Zoë Kessler

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

…So that’s it. Sure hope she gets me on the show so I can out-blurt her! That’ll teach her about ADHD… ha!

P.S. I just read that Terry O’Reilly will be Mary’s guest this coming Saturday! BONUS! (In the U.S., you can listen to CBC Radio on Sirius satellite)

A while ago, I reminisced about good times as a Girl Guide. I have very few childhood memories, but incredibly, 40 years later, I can still tie a clove hitch, and I’m a mean fire pit architect: I can build it teepee-style or log cabin.

I’m amazed that I can still remember these things, not to mention the indelible memory of the night we had a séance to channel Lord Baden Powell (the Guiding Founder).

My friend Keri went into a trance and channeled Baden Powell, and we all peppered him/her with questions, only stopping when she went white as a ghost and nearly passed out, scaring the beejeezus out of all of us. What I don’t remember is how we got away with that, right in the Trillium Hall. No doubt about it: Girl Guides was cool.

It was also the perfect place for a hyperactive Chick A-D-D like me.

It had everything I needed: understanding, fun, and enthusiastic leaders; the chance to be wild and crazy within structure; and the self-esteem building of earning badges. And, unlike our school curriculum, they weren’t mandatory badges, they were badges for things we actually liked to do. For a kid with ADHD, this was motivating, achievable, and confidence-building.

I wish I could get badges for overcoming my ADHD

Shortly after my birthday, I found myself yearning for a Girl Guide sash to wear proudly, adorned with my achievements.  I’ve been working so hard since my ADHD diagnosis, and every once in a while, I wouldn’t mind some acknowledgement from someone who gets it.

On the night of my birthday, I was called to switch gears. Fast. My friends had thrown a surprise party for me! (Hey! I should get my Friendship Badge too, now that I think of it…)

It was then that I realized I’d learned how to transition with grace. The problem was, there was no one to share this with. Who would understand? If I’d been working towards a Transition Badge, then it would have been presented at a ceremony, and all the other ADHD-Guides could celebrate with me. We might even have had s’mores around a bonfire.

Roll call

So, all you Chick A-D-D’s out there, I’m taking roll call! Let’s gather ‘round the fire, sing a few songs out of key, tell a few tales, and talk about the badges we’ve earned along the way. Let’s celebrate those victories we’ve worked so hard for!

I’ve laid claim to my Transition and Friendship Badges. What about you?

Here are a few other badges I think we should have in our Girl Guides for Adult ADHDers Troupe. I’ve brainstormed a few items to put on each badge list, feel free to add more, or come up with your own badge suggestions!

(btw – Robin has dibs on the top bunk in my cabin!)

Punctuality Badge

- plan a camp activity, and show up on time to lead it
- arrive on time to weekly meetings at least 2X a month
- make five appointments; keep at least 4/5
- show up at least five minutes early for next outing with your best friend

Keeping Friends Badge

- keep one friendship w/ a girlfriend for at least 3 months
- call or e-mail this friend at least once a week, or take her out to lunch or dinner 2X a month
- remember her birthday and actually do something about it (e.g. send card)
- do not interrupt your friend when she’s speaking during at least 1 out of every 3 conversations

Storytelling Badge

- must keep it to less than 1 hour and less than 10 themes
- story must have a beginning, a middle, and – most importantly – an end
- extra kudos if you get applause at the end! (enthusiastic applause;  not just because you’re finished)

Sobriety Badge

- recognize at least one new addiction in yourself
- pick one addiction; replace with a healthy behavior (e.g. – inhale campfire smoke instead of cigarette smoke)
- replace self-medicating with actual ADHD treatment

Budgeting Badge

- have proper amount for dues for every week for 3 months (borrowing your dues from another Chick A-D-D Guide just before the meeting doesn’t count!)
- save up enough $ to go to Chick A-D-D Guide Camp
- find one way to decrease monthly expenses and put towards savings
- remember to pay all bills on time for at least one month

That’s our Badge starter list… any more?

I’m sure we can come up with more badges to work towards. I didn’t suggest a “Creativity” badge ‘cause I thought that would be too easy. Maybe an “Organization” badge would be good?  Or a “Completing Projects” badge?

Do you have any suggestions?

Thanks for hanging out around the campfire with me! One more rousing round of Kumbaya and then it’s time to close the meeting… for now!

A friend and I were discussing the issue when she made a remarkable comment. It was one of those insights that, as soon as you hear it, the lightbulb goes on.

Having a several decades-long career as a publisher, independent bookstore owner, and book lover made her remark even more startling.

“It seems to me,” she said, “that some documents are just not meant to be in print form.”

Huh? was my first reaction. Then I realized: she’s right.

As I pondered her statement, I realized I tend to agree. The static form of a print book no longer serves the function of being a useful diagnostic tool. Several arguments point to this conclusion.

Paradigm shift-in-progress

As we’ve already seen in the discussions here at Psych Central (including my previous post on the topic, On Scrapping the DSM and Stories, Eh?), there is an emerging school of thought that contraindicates the efficacy of a written tome. It calls for a tomb for the tome (sorry, I couldn’t resist). The tome, that is, in its present form.

The new thinking suggests that a disembodied grab-bag of traits or symptoms falls short of describing an individual’s lived experience of ADHD (or any other mental health condition).

Perhaps it’s the pendulum swinging, but there’s a shift away from the Western approach of dissecting an individual into component bits. More of us are espousing the merits of a more holistic approach in every facet of life, considering the composite of mind, body, emotions, and spirit as an integrated, functioning system. If one of these is affected, the organism is affected in its entirety. There is mounting evidence to suggest that moods affect physiology and so on.

A more encompassing approach to diagnosis, one which would recognize different paradigms, would take into account an individual diagnostician’s perspective. Just as the creationists must live in harmony with the…er… evolutionists, for the time being, perhaps the DSM-5 could reflect both points of view. And perhaps both visions would be better presented in a more versatile, accommodating form.

Go with the flow

It’s the DSM’s job to identify dis-ease arising from non-neurotypical brains (minds?). If the goal of diagnosis is to alleviate widespread suffering, then it would seem to me to be counter-productive to codify into book form a snapshot of knowledge on a given day: specifically, the day the thing goes to print. Like a river, a more fluid form of a diagnostic tool would be much better-suited to serve its function. Like the river, the diagnostic tool will always remain, but the flow of new information could be injected as it arises.

Emerging brain research

With the advances in neuroimaging, ongoing research into the brain’s biochemistry, ideas such as epigenetics, to name a few recent and ongoing areas of study, surely a static hunk of bound paper, scheduled for updates only every few years, is an antiquated form that no longer serves its function in the case of the DSM.

What form?

Is an olive without a pimento still an olive?

I have no idea what this new form would look like, I’m just throwing the concept out there. Obviously, we don’t want an open Wikipedia-type platform where anyone and everyone can throw their ideas at the wall and have them stick. There would have to be some sort of base credentials, but I like the idea of a more collaborative approach, incorporating philosophical, anthropological, cultural, and other concepts into the mix. (I had a brilliant analogy here of tweezing a pimento from an olive, and considering it as representative of the olive itself, but then I got lost and realized I’m just getting hungry…)

As I’m devolving into hunger pangs, I leave this concept open, and throw the discussion over to you.

One more thing

Oh, ya. One more thing. My brainiac publisher friend would also like to know, What the heck is up with the “5”?  Have we suddenly forgotten our Roman Numerals? I admit that when I first saw the Arabic “5,” the writer/proofreader in me aligned with my friend the publisher in balking at an inconsistency of this magnitude. Then again, we’re not the ones who’ll be making the diagnoses, so I guess we’ll just have to lump it.

As for an explanation, I did find a brief reference to the change from Alan F. Schatzberg, M.D.:

One of the key differences between DSM-IV and DSM-5 (yes, we are now using the Arabic number system to allow for ongoing brief updates as the science progresses)…

From: DSM-5: The Next Steps Begin, Psychiatric News, American Psychiatric Association, March 05, 2010,Volume 45 Number 5 page 3-3

…which begs the question which is at the heart of this post: should form follow function? Perhaps there is a more useful delivery modality for the DSM, especially when updates are anticipated (and why presume they’ll be “brief”?…)

Ok, two more things

In my initial post on the proposed DSM-5, I raised some specific questions. I think most, if not all of them have been answered by the ensuing comments and posts, except one: it is clear that the option of offering input to the various committees responsible for penning the new version is now long expired. It will be interesting to see what we end up with once the dust settles on the new DSM-5, for better or worse.

The Dragon made me do it…

Confession: that’s not exactly how I planned it; cookies for breakfast on Chinese New Year was serendipity, of sorts. I’d planned to make them yesterday, as a way to take a break from my work.

As a little girl, peanut butter cookies were my favorite. How hard could it be? I thought. I found a website called Simply Recipes which I mistakenly read as, “simple” recipes. With only nine ingredients, and three – 3! – steps, I thought even I could handle this cookie-making thing. Goes to show how wrong you can be.

On my first break, I made a quick trip to the grocery store to buy white sugar. Knowing my culinary limitations, I decided to play by the rules instead of substituting demerara sugar for the white sugar called for by the recipe. (I have no idea what I’ll do with the huge bag of white sugar that is left over. I loathe baking and white sugar. I really just wanted to use up the peanut butter.)

Driving home, I prayed that no eggs would be required, although a dawning suspicion was creeping over me that they might be. I’d considered eggs at the grocery store, but decided against them. I’m constantly trying to stick to a vegetarian diet (and failing).

Time to start. Or not.

I checked the recipe one more time. Ingredient #5: 1 egg. That was okay. I’d already realized on the drive home that I had no cookie sheets.

I temporarily abandoned the mission, and went back to work.

By six o’clock, shoulders aching from sitting at my desk, I was ready for another break. I bought the cookie sheets, the eggs, read the recipe over once more, and was ready to start. I’d taken the butter out of the fridge so that it would be room temperature. The oven was pre-heated. I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing.

Vinegar is for washing windows; baking soda is for…baking?!

That’s when I noticed baking soda on the ingredient list. The last time I’d seen baking soda it was at the back of my fridge ineffectually battling the liquefied lettuce and God-knows-what-else. I’d forgotten it was actually a food.

Instead of making trip #3 to the grocery store, I fed the dog and got back to work. Deadlines are deadlines.

My just dessert

By 11 o’clock, I’d had enough. Wouldn’t it be nice, I thought, to end the day with fresh, home-baked cookies?  One problem: where, oh where, was I going to get baking soda at this hour? Then I remembered the one grocery store in my small, rural Ontario town that’s open ‘til midnight.

Except on Sunday.

Apparently.

On a cookie (or is that, “kooky”?) quest

Driving around town, I racked my brains trying to think of a 24-hour baking soda store. Adrenaline pumping, determination swelling, I would not abandon my quest. I had already put far too much time into it. I mean, far too much time. Then I remembered the 24-hour drugstore with its three grocery aisles. Bingo!

By 11:30 p.m., I was mixing the dough and looking forward to my cookies. That’s when I noticed instruction #2:

“wrap dough in plastic and refrigerate at least three hours.”

Here you go, Dragon...

At that rate, the cookies would be ready around 2:30 a.m.

I figured leaving the dough in the fridge overnight would qualify as “at least” three hours. I went to bed.

The cookies are ready! …and it only took 15 hours…

This morning I took the cookie sheet out of the oven to find a vast, flat, shapeless plane of cookie dough the texture of hardened sand. Yum. Where were the fluffy mounds with their jaunty criss-crossed patterns of my childhood?

All is not lost. It is, after all, the first day of Chinese New Year. I’m going to feed my cookies to the Dragon.

Did someone say "Starting fires?"

Girl Guides. They had me at “fire-starting.”

Did you go to Girl Guides when you were a young ADHD girl? I did, and I loved it. Turns out a lot of the skills I learned in guiding were handy for a budding ADHDer. The camping trips didn’t hurt, either.

What’s not to love?

There was the aforementioned fire-starting (initially, the leaders and I had different ideas about that. We worked it out.)

Then there was financial management. I discovered that if I spent my dues on candy before the meeting, I’d be too hepped-up and sent home. I decided to pay my dues. Besides, I didn’t want to lie about losing my money. I actually did lose it often enough as it was.

Girl Guides was great for girls with ADHD and a propensity for hoarding. I collected about 100 postcards, taped ‘em into a cloth-covered scrapbook, and earned my “Collection” badge. I think it’s awfully sweet of them not to have called it a “Packrat” badge. Of course, that would have belied the purpose of the organization, which was to build character and a belief in one’s intrinsic worth to society. (That, and to learn how to cook S’mores.)

Guiding gave me amazing camping trips in the Laurentian Mountains in Quebéc, Canada in the summer. The benefits of this were many, including tons of exercise (one of the best treatments for ADHD); and a chance to hang with the other bad girls and put our energies to (mostly) good. We were natural leaders, hams around the campfire, sang the loudest, and built the biggest fires. When it came to camping, we ruled! We once had to name our campsites after a bird. We chose “Turkeys.” Need I say more?

The downside

True, not all of our activities earned us badges. First, there was “inspection,” wherein you had to have your tie tied straight, your shirt tucked in, and be wearing underwear. Nobody’s good at everything, right?

Then there was the pesky sewing badge. For an ADHD klutz like me, this was more of a “death by slow bleeding and/or boredom” badge.

I also, amazingly, didn’t pass my “exploring” badge. Yet I was a natural-born explorer! I’d already been pegged as the ringleader of my posse of relatives, including my little sister and 3 girl cousins. Heck, how hard could it be to get my “exploring” badge?

It’s all a matter of interpretation…right?

I should have known I was doomed from the beginning. Each badge starts with a “purpose.”  For exploring, this was:

“to encourage you and your friends to enjoy the fun of well-planned, safe outings.”

My friends and I were always having fun outings. I thought they were being nit-picky about the planning and safety part.

For the exploring badge, you had to complete six of eight activities (sounds like earning your ADHD badge in the DSM, doesn’t it?).

I went terribly wrong, apparently, when I chose item #2: Assemble the equipment you will carry on your back. I still fail to see why carrying a set of fireworks to set off in an emergency is a big deal.

And when they said to bring “thirst quenchers,” they didn’t SAY not to bring a six pack of your dad’s beer. Sheesh. I thought hiking was supposed to be fun.

Girl Guides for ADHD women

In reflecting over the past year, I realize that if there was a Girl Guide troupe for ADHD women, I’d have earned some pretty cool badges!

Next week, we’ll explore some badge-worthy accomplishments for women like you and me. So grab your sashes and fire-starters, ladies! We’ll see you next week around the campfire.

What's Your ADHD Story?

Since I last wrote about the impending DSM-5, Dr. Ronald Pies’ blog post appeared in World of Psychology here at Psych Central. I found Pies’ post, Why Psychiatry Needs to Scrap the DSM System: An Immodest Proposal, interesting on several levels. Foremost was the fact that Pies calls for a replacement of the DSM that sounded hauntingly familiar.

Storytelling is very Canadian, eh?

Pies’ suggested approach to replace the current DSM diagnostic tool looked a lot like something already being used by Canadian psychiatrist Dr. Tim Bilkey. Bilkey has diagnosed over 3400 adolescents and adults at his ADHD clinics in Ontario.

The approach suggested by Pies and practiced by Bilkey focuses on the patient as a whole, taking into account their life story, and the patient’s own subjective worldview.

I can’t resist pointing out that Pies began his post with a quote from another Canadian physician (Sir William Osler, 1849-1919) who also put the emphasis on the patient, rather than a disembodied list of symptoms. Maybe we Canadians are onto something, eh?

A behind-the-scenes peek

I was surprised when I read in Pies’ blog post, “…many psychiatrists routinely ignore the DSM in their clinical practices.”  Pies, who is himself a psychiatrist, suggests that the current DSM criteria that rely on lists of symptoms should be scrapped in lieu of a more practical and useful model.

The clincher that brought my first interview with Dr. Bilkey to mind was Pies’ statement that:

“Most experienced clinicians listen carefully to the patient’s personal and family history; weigh this narrative in light of some general diagnostic categories, and arrive at a “gestalt” understanding of their patient’s condition.”

What’s your story?

The word “narrative” is another word for story (Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary). And if anyone’s got stories, it’s us ADHDers. I’m no expert in other mental health conditions, but I know one thing for sure: when it comes to ADHD, we’re much more than the sum of our symptoms. We’re tragicomedies; we’re melodramas; we’re family sagas; we’re epic.

Depending on our symptoms, our comorbidities, and many other factors, our particular flavor of ADHD will tell one story or another.

As far as stories go, Dr.Bilkey’s come up with 10 ADHD classics. He created these narratives, which he calls patient profiles, to help frontline medical doctors recognize ADHD in their patients (in Canada, it’s frequently a family physician who is first approached, and sometimes makes a diagnosis of ADHD). Bilkey uses these profiles as part of his diagnostic toolkit to diagnose ADHD in teens and adults.

As part of his re-visioning of a diagnostic tool, Pies says, “For disease entities that have highly variable presentations, more than one prototype would be provided.” Bingo! We’re right back to Bilkey’s 10 profiles.

Been there, done that

I don’t know if this approach has been developed for use in diagnosing other psychiatric conditions; it could be that, in the field of ADHD, we’re blessed with forward-thinking, innovative clinicians and researchers who are ahead of the game.

Pies is advocating a similar approach to diagnose all psychiatric disorders. In the meantime, as Pies points out, a new version of the DSM is a foregone conclusion. Nonetheless, I found Pies’ behind-the-scenes look (in addition to my talks with Dr. Bilkey), at how psychiatrists actually diagnose fascinating. It may be that even more practitioners will opt for a more wholistic approach in the future, making the DSM-5 look more like fiction than fact. Only time will tell.

If you’re interested in this diagnostic approach, check out Dr. Bilkey’s ADHD screening tool here (you might just find your own story): FAST Minds™ and Patient Profiles

For more in-depth discussion, read Dr. Pies’ blog post, and especially the comments that follow, Why Psychiatry Needs to Scrap the DSM System: An Immodest Proposal.

ADHD transition triumph: solving surprise party startle!

I’ve written before about how difficult transitions can be for those of us with ADHD. In my post, 8 Gifts for ADHD Kids, gift #4 was transition time. Even ADHD adults need extra time to switch from one activity to another.

This weekend, I looked forward to being taken out to dinner for my birthday. We’d arranged to meet at my friend’s house, and proceed from there.

I arrived punctually, only to find that some of my closest friends were already assembled. There were helium-filled balloons, presents, bottles of wine, and a huge spread of incredible home-cooked food.

In short, more than a few of my favorite things. But also an unexpected and therefore overwhelming array of stimuli to take in on a moment’s notice.

SURPRISE!

I’ve thrown many a surprise party myself. Turns out, it’s easier to be on the planning end of things. When I’m planning one, I know it’s coming. Strange how you imagine what you’ll feel when you’re on the receiving end.

I’d always wanted a surprise party. In fact, this year I shamelessly begged my friends to throw me one. It’s a testament to my trusting nature (read: gullibility) that I actually fell for it. I believed all the plausible excuses my heretofore trustworthy friends threw my way in the days leading up to the event. (Ok, it was also a testament to their self-restraint and acting abilities, as some of them have pointed out).

Sink or swim

The night of my surprise party, all that fastidious preparation disappeared in a flash flood of friendship. It was sink or swim.

Should I ever have been so lucky as to be blessed with such an honor, I’d fully expected to be awash in a love Tsunami. That night, I tumbled beneath the surface, tangled in transition trauma.

I realize now how much prep I actually go through before participating in any social event. It’s not as easy as throwing your bathing suit and some sun screen in a bag and driving to the beach. Ya gotta learn how to swim.

This weekend taught me that prior to a social occasion, I arrange my mood, my clothes, my attitude, my vocabulary; I ponder what subjects might be discussed, I visualize the room I’ll be in, who else might be there, and so on. No wonder it takes me so long to get ready to go out. No wonder I’m exhausted before I arrive.

The night of my surprise party, all that fastidious preparation disappeared in a flash flood of friendship. It was sink or swim.

My ADHD treatment has been more of a lifeline than I’d realized. I was thrown into the deep end and I survived.

Your joke is my stroke (and I’m not talking front crawl)

I used to think that if someone jumped up behind me and scared me, or decided at the last minute to take me to a different movie, or committed some other heinous act of cruelty, that they were doing it deliberately to torture me. In response to the startle to my system, I’d react in anger or irritation. I’d feel sick to my stomach, adrenaline raced through my body. I had no idea others didn’t react or feel the way I did about sudden shifts. I didn’t know I was transitionally challenged.

The fact that I’d always wanted a surprise party is evidence of two more ADHD bugaboos: lack of self-awareness and inability to foresee consequences based on past experiences (ok, there’s a third: extremely poor recall; I can’t even remember a lot of past experiences, let alone factor them into present-day decision-making).

There’s hope!

Saturday night proved that I’ve learned to swim. I may not be doing the butterfly yet (transformation takes time), but I managed to crawl to safe shores. I hung back, quietly allowing myself to take in my surroundings. In silence, I recognized that I’d swallowed some anxiety, and I let it go by practicing the number one rule of swimming safety:  DON’T PANIC!

Zoë (I reasoned to myself), these are your friends. They’re here to celebrate you. Some of them have driven a long way to be here. Look around – they’re all smiling and welcoming; try to relax. This party is for you. It’s ok.

Once I reached the other shore, and felt my feet on solid ground, it was ok.

And after that, it was a blast!