This Monday is Victoria Day in Canada. Its origin is a celebration of Queen Victoria’s birthday and it occurs on the weekend prior to May 25. (Canada still has a British Queen, why I don’t know. Maybe we’re just too polite to point out to the Brits that we’re Canadian, but I’m just speculating).
In lieu of ousting the monarchy, we’ve created an alternative name for our holiday: the May 2-4 weekend, thus named both for the date, and after a 2-4 case of beer (hey, we’re poetic like that.)
With the first summer-ish holiday looming, and Canadians across the land opening their cottages for the first time in our short summer season, I thought this would be a good time to review some do’s and don’ts of holidaying with ADHD.
Ok. That’s it. I’m down the rabbithole again.
The more I learn about ADHD, the more complex and interconnected everything gets. I’m totally overwhelmed by the plethora of theories, webinars, tools, and tricks of the trade.
Not to mention the amazing, fascinating, infuriating, and fabulous personalities representing a myriad of contrasting, conflicting, and concurring opinions available through blogs, articles, Twitter peeps and peeping twits (including those who randomly steal and re-post my writings without so much as a by-your-leave).
Tara and Trevor MacKenzie might play together in the MacKenzie Blues Band, but their 13-year marriage is anything but blue.
Here, Tara MacKenzie continues to share some tips that work for her and her husband, Trevor MacKenzie, whose gifts include not only talent - but ADHD.
ZOË: What other advice do you have for someone who’s in a relationship with someone with ADHD?
TARA: They need to understand that they are speaking different languages.
The partner that has ADHD doesn’t value them less, it’s their wiring system and they are different. If you’re kind and you value them, listen to them, and share their adventures…if you’re genuinely listening, then it’s going to be better.
As the year draws to a close, I’ve been reflecting on the year that’s passed and what I’d like to bring with me into the New Year, and what I’d like to leave behind.
This is hard to do in a house as chaotic as mine.
Reflection, thinking, and contemplation are seldom achieved when one’s concentration must remain focused on the basic necessity of not bruising one’s shins on the hard edge of a plastic milk crate as one weaves around boxes just to get to the designated contemplation nook.
Should one scrape one’s leg, the air becomes blue with more base expression, having mainly to do with physical pain: an atmosphere decidedly inconducive to quiet contemplation and more elevated thinking.
So here it is
What I’m saying is: I’m still not unpacked.
Yes, I’ve lived in my new house for 3 months now.
As I slowly settle in, unpacking a box here and there, I’ve begun to realize the horrible truth of the situation.
I had to hyperfocus for the home stretch, and now that it’s over, I’m wondering: was it worth it?
First, what is ADHD hyperfocus, anyway?
“Hyperfocus is when you pay so much attention to one thing you ignore everything else around you. Many adults with ADHD find hyperfocus helps at work, making it easier to complete tasks.” (p. 171)
~ Eileen Bailey and Dr. Donald Haupt, authors, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Adult ADHD (2010)
When this happens and you’re supposed to be doing something else, like paying attention to traffic when you’re walking across the street but instead you’re texting your boyfriend, it’s definitely negative.
Today I realized that it’s probably not a good system to just go by my feelings on Saturday morning (especially if I was out the night before).
I needed a way to find out where I’ve gone astray, and to discern the biggest time-wasters and distractions for the week. I wanted a strategy to steel myself against these saboteurs (or at least to mix ‘em up so I don’t get bored with the same ones all the time).
To accomplish these goals, I’ve created a handy End-of-the-Week ADHD Checklist to measure the week’s progress.
Feel free to use, adapt, or modify it for yourself (this one is created for the home-office environment).
I’d been feeling great about being organized, especially in the wake of moving mayhem.
Then, along came the US presidential debates. An unabashed political junkie, I eagerly tuned in to get my fix.
Doubling my adrenalin buzz, I mainlined the main events while tippling on Twitter.
When I moved into my new house, I dreaded the idea of being surrounded by boxes, unable to unpack for who-knows-how-long while renovations were being done.
How would I cope?
Instead of freaking out, I’ve been calm, happy, and productive. My friends and I have been equally mystified.
Then, it hit me: I’m living in ADHD paradise.
Hey Canada! Did you know we’ve got an exciting opportunity coming up to meet with some of ADHD’s best-known leaders, researchers and pioneers?
The Centre for ADHD Awareness, Canada (CADDAC) hosts its 4th Annual ADHD Conference from Oct. 11 – 14, 2012. The conference features Canadian experts and, if they don’t get held up too long at the border (or get lost trying to find their way here), some well-known names from our southern ADHD neighbors.
Especially for the ADHD from A to Zoë audience
The last two days of this four-day conference will be of special interest to my blog readers. Saturday, October 13, will be devoted to topics on girls and women with ADHD; and Sunday, October 14, features presentations especially for adults with ADHD.