It happened at a job interview. I found myself feeling clueless about eye contact: how much was too much? I was trying to pay attention to what the interviewer was saying, and ended up worrying that I was staring like an expressionless sociopath so I looked away – just when she asked me a question. I’d been vacillating between trying for a neutral expression, hoping to look attentive and reflective, and occasional smiles, which I was sure were apropos of nothing, ill-timed, and making me look even more nuts. I couldn’t help it. I had no idea whose face I was using, or how it got there, but it wasn’t mine.
Surprisingly, I got the job.
Nearly a decade has passed, and there have been few comparably cringe-worthy incidents.
Until now, that is.
Recently, I had the opportunity to re-read Conversations with God: Book 3 by Neale Donald Walsch. In his third and concluding book of the CWG trilogy, Walsch recommends a book written by Thom Hartmann as further reading. I wondered if this was the same Thom Hartmann who’d written Attention Deficit Disorder: A Different Perception, one of the first books I’d read about ADHD shortly after my diagnosis.
Hartmann’s book is a favorite of mine, one I’ve cited often, so I was eager to learn if The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight: The Fate of the World and What We Can Do Before It’s Too Late, the sociopolitical treatise recommended by Walsch was written by the same author.
Hartmann, known for his revolutionary “Hunter/Farmer Hypothesis” of ADHD, stands out from the pack. His ADHD classic is innovative, his hypothesis reflects a fresh, bold approach, and one that resonates with me.
Before you get all judgy and shout at me, this post is not about sex. I’ll put that out there right now because believe it or not, I alluded to a Beatles song once in a post title and a reader got his nose out of joint because my post had nothing to do with the Beatles or with the song and he thought I was misrepresenting myself, trying to lure readers into my blog. Can you Imagine that? I just thought I was using a clever play-on-words.
Ok. I wasn’t just using a clever play-on-words. To be honest, the post was at the beginning of my blogging career and I might have been a tad anxious to attract readers, but jeepers. I did think it was clever. It taught me a lesson, and I’ve never done that again. But that’s why I thought I should announce immediately that this post isn’t about sex. So, if you’re looking for an ADHD romp through the haystack kind of tale, you’ll have to look elsewhere.
I was going to search for a few hyperlinks for you (I really am all about giving value to my blog readers) but then I thought the better of it and decided I didn’t want to be spammed by sex stuff in perpetuity. This is a new laptop (double entendre not intended) it’s clean, and I don’t want to dirty it up.
Besides, I’m not feeling well.
I just realized why social media can be so draining. I’ve been kidding myself that the only harm of spending too much time online is that it’s a colossal time waster and gateway to procrastination and avoidance. I just realized the deeper harm lurking beneath the surface.
The whole Facebook experience is an emotional minefield and I didn’t even know it.
Every time I login and there’s no personal message I die a little. If a cherished post isn’t liked or even noticed it’s a letdown. If others hijack a comment stream I feel steamrollered. If 92 people in a private group have responded to a comment I’m overwhelmed and completely incapable of joining the fray even if I want to. Then I feel irrelevant and disengaged. I think, Why am I even a member of this group if I’m not contributing?
I’ve read a lot of books written about ADHD by people who don’t have ADHD. Like other groups, it’s amazing what we talk about when it’s just us.
Some might see me as a traitor, giving away these dirty little secrets, but somebody’s got to do it. Besides, so far they’re just my hypotheses. I’d love to see some research to back up my observations.
The one thing that’s not a secret is that the more we understand ADHD, the better we’ll be able to help ourselves and help and support others.
See if any of these strike a chord for you.
When I was little, asking questions often got me into trouble. I had questions about everything. Apparently this was annoying to teachers, parents, and random strangers. I still want to know everything about everything, but I’m learning to make that work for me in a practical sense.
Ironically, asking questions has also become an integral part of my ADHD treatment. Here are 10 key questions that, if you get into the habit of asking them at the right time, might just transform your life with ADHD.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
- Maya Angelou
Before I knew about ADHD, I often felt like a failure. Instead of summiting the mountain, I was more likely to fly into it (flying without an air traffic controller will do that to you).
After my diagnosis, I understood that I was working with a different brain and a highly sensitive nervous system. I also realized that the popularized notions of success were set by the dominant culture, in other words, by non-ADHD brains.
I needed to find my own definition of success and ways to achieve it; otherwise, I’d be doomed to perpetually slam into mountains.
I’ve been racking my brains trying to figure out why I can’t think of an April Fool’s Day post. I love writing humor, why would this be so hard?
This morning on Twitter one of my wise and wonderful Twitter peeps pointed out the obvious: her ADHD son has been dreading April Fool’s Day for weeks. Aha!
April Fool’s Day with ADHD is no joke.
How can you get creative and have fun with a day that scares the hell out of you? Writer’s block was inevitable.
In ADHD and Gullibility – Part I I shared an incident where I nearly got caught by a telephone scam artist. Those of us with ADHD might be smart, but unfortunately that doesn’t inoculate us against being taken advantage of.
In today’s post I’ll explain why we can be sitting ducks for practical jokers, scammers, and con-artists, and what to do about it.
As kids, a lot of us with ADHD were either drowning in social awkwardness; having too much fun splashing in the pool; or too busy fantasizing about sailing the seven seas to have learned to read social cues.
In Yoga and ADHD Treatment – Part I, I talked about some similarities between the discipline of yoga and ADHD treatment. Today, I’ll cover some specific yoga components that might be helpful in managing ADHD symptoms.
Be prepared for some surprises!
Besides wearing comfy, funky Lululemon clothes (with the notable exception of the see-through pants, that’s just not a good look for me), I gained a lot of positive benefits from my experience as a member of a Kripalu Yoga Centre oh-so-many years ago.