Go Ahead! Follow me @ChickADD44

Woh! Twitter is messing with my head! I’m trying not to be intimidated by all the super-smart, super-cool people who are Following me. I feel like my fly is down.

I’m trying to be conscious of my lifelong (pre-ADHD diagnosis) pattern of striving for a goal, approaching it, then abandoning same – LOOK! A tree! – through distraction, fear of failure, boredom, whatever.

So now I’m watching my Twitter list grow and feeling those old familiar feelings of shyness, inferiority, and social ineptitude. I’m resisting the urge to go hide in the basement and take my Tweets with me.

Remember when I said it takes me forever to learn anything new? I wasn’t just “whistling dixie” (as my mom used to say, whatever that means).

I’m on a warp-speed learning curve at the moment, and given how fast we put this webinar thing together, I’m actually pretty happy with it (and yes, kind of proud. At least you could hear both me and Melissa Orlov, my special guest, and that’s the main thing. That, and the info is gold!).

I also admit that I’m pretty proud that last night’s ADHD, Anger, and Marriage was not only mine, but Psych Central’s 1st-ever webinar. How cool is that?!

My guest, Melissa Orlov, was superb. I admire her calm, cool, and collected manner; her depth of knowledge and her warmth; she was the perfect choice as my first guest. (she even laughed at my jokes, bonus!)

Melissa and I will be presenting again on Thursday, May 24 @ 8 p.m. EST, details coming soon.

For those of you who missed last night’s webinar, ADHD, Anger, and Marriage,
here’s a link to the audio
I’m sorry there aren’t any spiffy visuals, but hey, I’m new at this! It was my maiden voyage, so please cut me some slack.

Webinar Thurs., May 10 w/Zoë Kessler and Melissa Orlov

I’m super-excited to be presenting a webinar this Thursday (May 10th) with author Melissa Orlov, whom I recently interviewed. When I spoke with Melissa, it was abundantly clear that she’s a wonderful resource, so I asked if she’d be interested in co-presenting with me.

Much to my delight, she said yes!

In classic be-careful-what-you-ask-for style, instead of working on my book tonight, I’ve spent 6 hours setting up the webinar (one of two we’ll be doing this month, unless I turn out to be so incompetent she dumps me!) using a platform I’ve never used before; writing the webinar description, e-mail notices and Tweets to let everyone know about it; re-sizing and cropping photos for same; updating my website pages; talking to Melissa; e-mailing Dr. Grohol here at Psych Central (we’re hosting it); and so on.

Photo: ©Jonathan Coote, 2011

Last week, I clarified some of my viewpoints around ADHD based on a comment received from a blog visitor whom I’ll refer to as Kim (not her real name). (I don’t think. She wrote anonymously).

I talked about how ADHD is experienced differently by each of us, and how my blog reflects my own personal experiences.

That said, many of you have written over the years to say that my wacky journey has at times mirrored your own. Those of us who share similar traits or travails have found a validating sense of camaraderie, and for that, I’m grateful.

To those of you who experience a different flavor of ADHD:  we’ve learned from your stories and sharing too.

Together, we share this ADHD thing. And for all of us, that can cause a heap of trouble when it comes to relationships. As the wedding season approaches, and in response to Kim’s comment, I’ll share a cautionary word about the dangers of ignoring your ADHD when you’re looking for a happily- ever-after. Read on…

Photo: ©Zoë Kessler, 2012

Recently, I received a comment that raised some good points but also the need for clarification, especially for those who are new to my blog, who are newly diagnosed, or who are considering an ADHD diagnosis.

We’ll call the commenter “Kim,” as she wrote her comment anonymously.

Sharing my story, and possibly yours

Kim took issue with the fact that my description of ADHD does not reflect hers. While my blog covers interviews with ADHD experts, reviews books and ADHD documentaries, and shares news about developments in the field, I also write many pieces that are deeply personal.

As stated in the introduction to my blog, when I write a personal story, it’s from my own perspective as a woman who was diagnosed late in life, living with ADHD.

Today is May 1st, Beltane. What better time to review the status of my balcony garden?

As some of you know, I’ve blogged about my balcony garden since I first conceived of it. I’ve been looking at its progress (or lack thereof) as a metaphor for my life and in particular, for my ADHD symptoms.

Last year, the balcony was in dire need of repair. After having received numerous assurances from my former landlady that she would make the necessary repairs, she instead sold the property, as is, out from under my feet.

I’ve always loved to teach – and loved to learn.

Last Friday, I had a total, teary, ADHD adult-learner meltdown.

You’d think after blabbing and blogging about having ADHD for so long, I’d be ok with sharing that I learn more slowly than others. Not so, as my recent bass guitar lesson proved.

Today’s post concludes my talk with Melissa Orlov, author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage. These are just a few of the topics we touched on.

ADHD in a marriage is complex; to find out more, I’d encourage you to pick up her book, or attend her upcoming seminar.

Zoë:  Many people with ADHD earn less than their partners. This can create a power imbalance in a relationship. Can you address this?

Melissa Orlov, Author, The ADHD Effect on Marriage

Melissa Orlov’s Couples Marriage Seminar starts in exactly one week (on Wednesday, April 25th). I thought her book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage was fantastic, so I decided to speak with her to find out what her course was all about.

In addition to acting as a consultant to ADHD-affected couples, Melissa (who does not have ADHD) is married to an ADHDer.

Although we had a lengthy conversation, she had me at:

“If you have a therapist who is saying that your partner is a jerk… because they don’t understand ADHD, and they don’t understand that a person with ADHD can be very inwardly focused without any mal-intent at all, then it may or may not help.”

Without further adieu, let me tell you about her upcoming couples seminar, followed by an abridged version of our interview, to be continued tomorrow.

Zoë thinking about putting the laundry away. Honest. Photo: ©Jake Chegahno, 2011

I had the privilege of interviewing Melissa Orlov, author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage recently (blog post to follow). Melissa and I talked about her upcoming course (starting April 25) for couples in a mixed marriage (i.e., one ADHD spouse, one non-ADHD spouse).

Discussing the trials and tribulations arising from the ADHD elephant in the room, I was inspired to come up with some of my own marriage-saving tips.

Here are some of my ideas to rid your home of these ADHD traits:

• distractibility
• lack of structure
• allergies to housework
• frequent mood swings; and
• poor memory

I hope these tips help you. If not, there’s still time to sign up for Melissa’s course.