Archives for February, 2013
You think you’ve got sex problems? We want too much. We don’t want any. We’re halfway to heaven, a fly walks across the wall and we’ve lost it. As if living with ADHD wasn’t problematic enough, our symptoms often (or, more likely, nearly always) interfere with our sex lives as well. If sex, as they say, is 90% in the mind, imagine my surprise when I cracked open Naomi Wolf’s new book, Vagina: A New Biography (2012), to find Chapter 4 was all about the brain chemistry of sex. What really got me excited was the title: "Dopamine, Opioids, and Oxytocin."
Tara and Trevor MacKenzie might play together in the MacKenzie Blues Band, but their 13-year marriage is anything but blue. Here, Tara MacKenzie continues to share some tips that work for her and her husband, Trevor MacKenzie, whose gifts include not only talent - but ADHD. ZOË: What other advice do you have for someone who’s in a relationship with someone with ADHD? TARA: They need to understand that they are speaking different languages. The partner that has ADHD doesn’t value them less, it’s their wiring system and they are different. If you’re kind and you value them, listen to them, and share their adventures…if you’re genuinely listening, then it’s going to be better.
Tara and Trevor MacKenzie are the dynamic duo behind the MacKenzie Blues Band. The group recently returned from competing in the International Blues Challenge in Memphis, where they advanced to the semi-finals. For a young band who’s just released their first album, this was quite an accomplishment. To me, an even more remarkable achievement is the balance, joy, and respect that Tara and Trevor have achieved in their personal relationship as wife and husband of 13 years. Trevor's been described by CBC Radio's Tim Tamashiro as an "incendiary, virtuoso electric guitarist." I can vouch for that. I've seen him; he's riveting.
Dear ADHD Treatment: I'm so glad I met you. Before we met, I was completely lost. I admit it: there were many others before you. In my 20s, I flirted with alcohol. I came to realize this wasn’t a healthy relationship. I tried smoking, but I knew that that relationship would eventually kill me. Our relationship is different; I’m happier. I’m healthier. And I’m still getting to know you. There is so much more to learn! But one thing’s for sure: I believe you and I can grow together. And I know we’re together for life. This may sound overly dramatic, but I can’t live – really live - without you.
photo credit: Martin Beek Are you feeling stuck in a job you can’t stand? Workplace woes are common amongst those of us with ADHD. Having a great workplace fit is so important it’s considered key to managing ADHD symptoms. But how do you find that just-right job for you? Hyperfocus could be a key to finding an occupation you’re passionate about, that will hold your interest, and that you can excel in. On the opposite side of the coin, the level of distraction and lack of focus you experience at your current position might be an indicator of poor job place fit.
This week marked the official launch of Fast Minds: How to Thrive If You Have ADHD (or Think You Might). FAST MINDS builds on Dr. Bilkey’s pioneering work that impressed me so much in the first place. I got to know Tim Bilkey several years ago when I interviewed him for my book about women and ADHD. I was impressed by his depth of knowledge, and delighted to find that much of his work focuses on women and ADHD. Dr. Bilkey has developed a unique way of diagnosing adults with ADHD which focuses on how the traits turn up in our lives as adults. Fast Minds is based on this nationally accredited educational program that he developed in 2009.
Does your cat have ADHD? While it’s not contagious, it is genetic. How much do you really know about where your kitten came from? Here are the signs to look for if you think your cat has ADHD.