The Ghost of Undiagnosed ADHD Clutter
As the year draws to a close, I’ve been reflecting on the year that’s passed and what I’d like to bring with me into the New Year, and what I’d like to leave behind.
This is hard to do in a house as chaotic as mine.
Reflection, thinking, and contemplation are seldom achieved when one’s concentration must remain focused on the basic necessity of not bruising one’s shins on the hard edge of a plastic milk crate as one weaves around boxes just to get to the designated contemplation nook.
Should one scrape one’s leg, the air becomes blue with more base expression, having mainly to do with physical pain: an atmosphere decidedly inconducive to quiet contemplation and more elevated thinking.
So here it is
What I’m saying is: I’m still not unpacked.
Yes, I’ve lived in my new house for 3 months now.
As I slowly settle in, unpacking a box here and there, I’ve begun to realize the horrible truth of the situation.
Sure, it was easy at first to curse and blame the renovations for my disorganized state. I couldn’t unpack, I told myself, because the renos weren’t done.
Time has passed. I’ve had to face the harsh reality: most of the boxes that are left are not unpacked household items. They’re clutter.
Miserable, multitudinous, mind-bogglingly ancient accumulations of clutter.
For several weeks now, I’ve been peeking into unpacked boxes, desperately clinging to the hope of finding one more box of kitchen utensils. Or sweaters. Forgotten books maybe. Anything but…. Clutter.
Again and again, with a sinking heart, I’m forced to admit that instead of some fabulous knick-knack I’ve forgotten about, it’s yet another jumble of papers, odds and sods I should have, would have, meant to, tried to, dispatch with (but failed) repeatedly over the past 5, 10, 15 or 20 years or so that I’ve been lugging this junk around.
The day(s) of reckoning
I can no longer blame renovations for the state of chaos that remains. It’s ADHD clutter, pure and simple.
With very little storage space (a situation I’m choosing to see as a blessing in disguise) and the New Year looming (a poignant deadline if ever there was one), I’m motivated to keep unpacking.
I’ve decided that my strategy will be to tackle each remaining box as though it’s something I have to unpack, just like any other box, because I’ve moved into my new home. I’ll just keep unpacking.
The longer I live post-ADHD diagnosis, the more I realize how much easier it is to work without chaos. With that in mind, it’s obvious that unloading my not inconsiderable amount of amassed junk is as crucial as finding my frying pan – more so.
The mental weight of dragging around the remnants of undiagnosed ADHD clutter is heftier than my biggest cast iron pan, but without the usefulness.
Shedding papers, not pounds (ok, maybe a few of those too)
So here’s to shedding weight for the New Year: the weight of unwanted clutter; the weight of unwanted girth; the weight of unwanted disorganization.
Look out, 2013! The new and improved Zoë is going to be lean, streamlined, and light on her feet.
And it will definitely help if I don’t have any more boxes lying around to trip over.
As 2013 draws near, what are you going to leave behind to make life simpler, easier, more enjoyable and more straightforward?
Let us know.
Kessler, Z. (2012). The Ghost of Undiagnosed ADHD Clutter. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 30, 2015, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-zoe/2012/12/the-ghost-of-undiagnosed-adhd-clutter/