Deciding to dress up in a cloak, play Gregorian chants loudly to scare the kids, and put the good candies at the bottom of the bowl in case there were leftovers was easy.
What hasn’t been so easy is deciding what costume to wear when managing real-life Zombie attacks.
Attack of the ADHD zombies
Wikipedia defines fictional Zombies as mindless corpses with a gustatory penchant for human brains. Indeed, the attackers of those of us with ADHD often lack substantiation for their arguments. That doesn’t stop them from trying to suck our logic, learning, and life experiences, if not consuming our actual brains.
ADHD Zombie identification
In identifying an ADHD Zombie, watch for attacks ranging from slamming you for choosing the medical route to treat your ADHD, to flat-out denials that ADHD exists. (Hey, Zombie, back atcha!)
Lesser attacks include statements that there is no definitive test for ADHD (true) and conclusions that therefore it can’t be treated (not true).
We can’t put love or vampire movies’ popularity under a microscope either, but does that mean they don’t exist?
If ADHD treatment makes your life better, doesn’t it become academic that we can’t take a slice of it and examine it under a microscope? We can’t put love or vampire movies’ popularity under a microscope either, but does that mean they don’t exist?
Wearing a costume with thick skin
So how do you decide what costume to wear when facing the Zombie apocalypse that threatens to destroy your ADHD progress?
Since publicly writing about ADHD in adults, I’ve become a veteran, having survived a series of such attacks. They’re infrequent, but persistent. In spite of this, I go through a painful response process every time. I noticed this past week that I’ve honed my strategy, although I still haven’t come up with an automatic stop-em-in-their tracks strategy.
Having ruled out donning a Wonder Woman costume, which obviously would be my first choice but for which I have neither the bust, legs, nor waistline, I’ve come up with a fairly standard process for handling The Attack of the ADHD Zombies.
Beware, and be aware
If you’ve been newly diagnosed or are contemplating membership in the tribe, it’s highly likely you too will face a Zombie attack.
It helps to prepare in advance, so here are some action steps to follow:
Step 1 ) Allow yourself a full-blown hissy fit before you take action (your feelings of anger, hurt, or outrage are understandable, but aren’t advisable as weapons or ammo)
Step 2 ) Think Hallowe’en and ask yourself who you want to be when the Zombies come to call? You can choose from a variety of costumes, including: counter-villain, victim, or neutralizer.
Step 3 ) Based on the costume you’ve chosen, how will you act?
If I’d wanted to be a bad witch I could have turned my nay-sayers into toads. (But that would have been redundant)
As the Dalai Lama (allegedly) said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
It’s up to you to choose how to handle the inevitable ill-informed brain-sucking of strangers, family, friends, co-workers, and others. Just remember, the best defence against an ADHD Zombie attack is to walk away.
You will need your brains for more productive things, now that your ADHD treatment is on track.
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Last reviewed: 1 Nov 2012