As people with undiagnosed ADHD, a lot of us spend much of our lives on a quest to find out who we are and what makes us tick. Or, in the face of undiagnosed ADHD, more likely to find out why our lives are NOT ticking as they should.

Who am I? …not just a question for adoptees

Like many who are diagnosed with ADHD late in life, I spent most of my life feeling like I had all the right ingredients for a successful life, but every time I tried to put them together, the recipe was a flop.

Sure, I coulda heaved the whole burning mess into the trash bin – but I’m no quitter.

So, it was either get my life cooking – or starve.

But how?  What was the secret ingredient?

Haiku for Japan

Mental Tsunami.
From beneath the water’s rage
a hero rises.

The Japan situation has been driving me crazy.

In the wake of its multiple tragedies, I’ve been harboring a secret, radical thought that’s kept me afloat in the midst of terrible angst and despair.

I’ve been too embarrassed to admit it to anyone, not sure if it’s shocking, silly or disreputable of me to think this. But I’m going to share it with you.

On Saturday, Feb. 26, 2011, Psych Central posted this question on its Facebook page:

Do you think employees should disclose their mental illness to their employers?

There were over 40 responses, with the overwhelming majority a resounding, “NO!”

The risk was worth it, for me. It’s been a month since my disclosure at work, and I continue to experience a more relaxed, open and friendly rapport with my employer. I had no way of knowing how he would respond. I was lucky.

Who doesn’t like free stuff? Put up your hand.

Who’s finding it easy to get excellent ADHD help?

…that’s what I thought.

If you’re like me, the nearest ADHD support group is a three-hour drive away, or on another planet; ADHD-knowledgeable therapists are scarcer than hen’s teeth; and getting an appointment with a doctor who knows as much as you do about ADHD is as likely as meeting the Wizard of Oz.

The answer? Online teleseminars.

Zoë's cherry tomatoes...so much for ADHD procrastination!

“They’re all individuals with their own special needs”

Sounds like the tagline for Psych Central bloggers, right?

Wrong! It’s actually the opening tagline for a program that helps you plan your garden.

Someone mentioned this program,  growveg.com, at my writing class tonight.

My ears perked up when I heard, “…and they send you e-mails when it’s time to harvest.”

Wwwwhhhhat?!

Holy Hannah! This sounded like the PERFECT ADHD garden plan!

I just had to share it with you.

I am writing this post under considerable duress.

Let’s put that another way:  I’m freaking out!

In the back of my mind, but stealthily creeping up to the forefront, about to assault my over-wrought and already ADHD-riddled frontal lobe, is the panic-laden thought:

Photo ©Zoë Kessler, 2009

In a previous blog post I shared my lengthy list of jobs-to-date. One of those jobs was milking cows. 165 of them.

Each morning, single file, they walked up to a milking station and arranged themselves in a line, eight cows side-by-side.

Every morning, one cow showed up in the last group, identifiable by her distinctive behavior.

Card design ©Zoë Kessler, 2008

I was browsing the card section of a local shop the other day when I stumbled upon the perfect card for a friend of mine.

Like me, she has outrageously hyperactive and crazy-energy ADHD. I knew the card I’d found would give her a huge laugh.

On the cover of the card, there’s a simple line drawing of a woman wearing an apron, holding a dish with a meatloaf. The cover says:

“Want to know the secret to making a perfect meat loaf?”

Zoë Kessler, photo ©Zoë Kessler, 2010

Happy Anniversary Psych Central! We’ve been together a whole year now! The Welcome to ADHD from A to Zoë message was posted on March 2, 2010, imagine that!

I admit that I was scared when we first got together. But hey, I’ve hung in there for a whole year now. Huge commitment for me.

Blogged for the very first time…

I was so naive in the beginning. A blog virgin. Blogged for the very first time.

I’d only ever been with magazines, books, radio and newspapers before I met you.  But you seduced me into a serious commitment. Three or four times a week we get together, no matter what.

Photo ©2011 Zoë Kessler

Somewhere there’s a silent voice
Learning how to sing.
Some of us can’t move ahead
We’re paralyzed with fear.
Everybody’s listening
‘Cause we all need to hear…

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

~ lyrics by Amanda Marshall and Eric Bazilian

Well, it’s over.

If you read OMG! I Came Out at Work Today!, you know that that was the day I confessed to my boss that I have ADHD.