MISSED PART I? Click HERE.

Today’s He Said / She Said: Examining the ADHD Life, continues to explore the stress of de-stressing à la vacation, ADHD-style. Gather ’round the pool, pull up a deck chair, and enjoy!

10:27am Jeff: Have you noticed the interesting slide we’ve made from a discussion of vacation to a discussion of work? They are like opposite ends of a rubber band and each is moving in the opposite direction!!

You are correct about the boredom issue (I’m sure I’d shoot myself if I had to deliver mail 40 hours a week). But we have this damned tension of work/no-work and because we panic over time and we panic because we forget things. We keep the momentum going and don’t want to stop. In some respects, the vacation is a vacation only in the sense that we may not be doing our usual activities but like a gyroscope that requires a bit of a nudge now and then to keep spinning…we’re active (in different ways) on our vacation to keep our ADHD gyroscope spinning.

Zoë on a mountaintop at Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada

10:35am Zoe: I’m not sure I see it quite that way; I do try to stop the spinning as much as I can, and one thing I do enjoy on vacation is deep breathing, swimming, walks, sitting around drinking wine, whatever gets the movement focused in a much more relaxed way but I LOVE your observation about how our conversation took the slippery-slide into work…hmmmm…to me, having been diagnosed late, I have this underlying sense of panic that now I have to get myself  “functional” and start to CATCH UP on all the time lost! It’s a horrible feeling and one I battle, I admit less now that I am actually seeing some progress, but none the less, I work to quell panic over the fact that I have a lot of financial failure to make up for and very little time. I’m sorry if that sounds dire, but it takes money to go on the kinds of vacations my married and non-ADHD friends go on (and have been able to work and save towards). Yes, I’m a bit jealous and angry and bitter. And no, I won’t marry a rich guy to fast track it to a paid vacation…did I mention the “boredom” thing? LOL!

10:39am Jeff: You touched on a key point, namely, seeing a bit of progress. Heck, you know how many different projects I’m juggling and I’m also trying to make up for lost time (I do, however, have a spouse to lean on). But don’t lose sight of that progress.

Jeff in New Orleans

When I look back on my blog, for example, that I’ve been doing it for three years at the rate of about 100 posts per year, I think to myself, “Holy cow!! You stuck with it and it didn’t require effort to do it. It took on its own momentum.” I’ve seen various types of progress in other arenas of life so, who knows, maybe I’ll be able to take a four day vacation some day!!

10:42am Zoe: Thanks for the pep talk. you’re right, of course, and that’s exactly what I try to do: focus on the progress, and tell myself that someday…  In the meantime, I am so grateful that I’ve had the guts to face the impact of ADHD on my life; to make a commitment to who I really am (ie., a writer); and to say to hell with trying to “fit in,” and just pull out all the stops and give myself to writing, no matter what. I might be poor, but I’m happy. And determined not to be poor in the future! I deserve a vacation too!!!!!

10:46am Jeff: Well…I too have decided to stop fitting in and to let the “inner Jeff” really come out. Not sure if the world is really ready for me. I think as we both feel much more comfortable with who we really are, even if we have to do things in life in a crazy ADHD manner, still, we may be comfortable enough to go on vacation and NOT worry (at least not all that much).

10:51am Zoe: Yup. It just might take a bit more Tequila…ha ha…only kidding, honest. As I said in this week’s blog post, my legal medication certainly helps with decreasing my anxiety, and all the other treatment stuff, not to mention the wonderful readers of my blog, and YOU, Jeff, are all part of making it work, of making the positive difference. May I publicly thank you for being a true soul-brother on this difficult journey? It’s so great to know someone who “gets me” and who puts up with my craziness, and acts as a motivator, cheerleader, etc., etc. the ONE vacation I know I’ll never be able to take is a vacation from ADHD. So I’m extra-glad you’re there, bro.

P.S. – can I have my $20 bucks now? Ha ha ha!!!

10:54am Jeff: Boy…now I’m all choked up. (Is it okay if I use PayPal for the $20 dollars I owe you?) But I’m really so glad that I’m able to be that soul-brother. It means that, from a kind of selfish view, that I’ve made enough progress myself that I can actually help someone else, I can actually make a difference in someone else’s life.

10:56am Zoe: You make a big difference with your blog, Jeff. Just keep helping, and maybe someday I’ll be able to take enough time off, and have the money, to be able to come and visit you!! Woo-hoo! Then we can stomp all over Manhattan, sing karaoke, and be wild & crazy ADHDers on the loose!! Ha ha…wait a minute…that will be the ONE time I think we’ll both actually “fit in”!! Ha ha…

10:57am Jeff: I have a confession to make.

10:57am Zoe: Yes?

10:58am Jeff: I dream about you coming down to where I live and we get in my car, open the windows, crank up the music and drive all over town singing at the top of our lungs.

11:00am Zoe: Sounds good. Make it Janis Joplin!

Hope you enjoyed the trip! IF YOU MISSED PART I of Zoë & Jeff’s excellent adventures, CLICK HERE.

Disclaimer: Although the He Said / She Said series is a collaborative effort between Zoë Kessler and Jeff Siegel, each author speaks for her or himself and the opinions expressed are solely those of the respective authors.

If you missed our Introduction to He Said / She Said, check it out HERE.

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    Last reviewed: 9 Sep 2010