© Jeff Siegel, 2010

He Said / She Said: Examining the ADHD Life – The “Education” of an ADHDer, Part I

8:55pm Jeff:    Should I just jump into the deep end? I got stories.

8:59pm Zoë: Be my guest!

9:04pm Jeff:     I’ll begin with the overview. I drove the teachers crazy. I wouldn’t pay attention and when I did, I would give the right answer and then go back to daydreaming. By the time I was 13 years old or so, I was becoming a truant, spending more days out of school than in.

I was still placed in a special program for bright children but eventually got thrown out of that. Then I became even more truant, got involved with drugs, eventually dropped out of high school. Ironically I managed to get into college based on a high school equivalency diploma, work my way up to winning all kinds of awards and being inducted into Phi Beta Kappa.

9:07pm Zoë:    Wow! The only time I ever played hookie was ONE day in high school. I went to the office and confessed the next day…and got a detention!

9:09pm Jeff:    …so I was a real puzzle for the school. I was smart but I wouldn’t follow the usual rules…like paying attention.

9:11pm Zoë:    I can relate to that. I recall spending a great deal of time out in the hall for talking and disrupting the class, the proverbial “class clown,” on the other hand, the teachers loved me…but that was in public school.

9:13pm Jeff:    I was way too shy to be the class clown. My funny side did not really come out ‘til I was much older…come to think of it…much much older. I needed a shell around me and withdrawing was the way I protected myself.

9:14pm Zoë:    I was TOTALLY impulsive and just let ‘er rip…in fact, not much changed until I got my diagnosis 4 years ago! lol

9:16pm Jeff:     I’m the inverse. I never really let it rip until quite recently. Looking back I realized that my physical activity – I would bicycle everywhere – managed to calm me down enough so that I wasn’t bouncing off the walls. But I was the type of kid with infinite patience…hence model building and stuff like that.

9:18pm Zoë:  Patience? What’s THAT?! I do relate to the physical activity part, though. On my way to kindergarten, I had to walk through THREE fields. I used to capture field mice and bring them to school in a plastic container. And I caught them on the way home, too. My mom would freak, especially when I’d get bitten. Can you say, Catcher in the Rye? Anyway, I’ve always been a nature lover…but I digress (I often do, ha ha). My public school experience was one of the best times of my life.

9:19pm Jeff:     Ah…for you it was the best of times…for me it was the worst of times. (Can you say Dickens?)

9:21pm Zoë:     lol! You know, Jeff, after my diagnosis when I started doing research and interviewing other women with ADHD, I kept hearing all these horror stories about early school experiences. It was only then that I realized that I had the good fortune to go to the perfect ADHD school. It was in a suburb of Montreal. Creativity was emphasized, we were constantly writing, creating radio plays, performing onstage, and getting TONS of praise and encouragement from our teachers. Athletics was huge, too, I was on the gymnastics team (although I was scared sh*tless, but that’s another story!) lol

9:24pm Jeff:     For me, creativity was outside of the school. I was clumsy so I didn’t care much for sports. Anything interesting was in the magazines I read (I was a nerd before the concept existed…I used to read Popular Electronics Magazine when I was, like 12 years old). But I can’t tell if the school experience was the worst part of school or the other students? I still carry a bit of a low level hatred for some of the people that thought that making fun of Jeff was a spectator sport.

9:24pm Zoë:     Why do you think they made fun of you? (that sucks, btw, I’m sorry…)

9:27pm Jeff:    I had zero interest in sports…either following sports (the other students would talk about football and stuff) or playing sports. I have to say that I had a group of close friends that were really good about it and tried to make me laugh about my inability to, say, sink a basket in basketball. But a number of the other kids, well, I didn’t fit their mold and that, for them, was a problem so, therefore, it became my problem.

9:28pm Zoë:    Geez, Jeff, that’s brutal. Would it be insensitive to tell you here that I was a basketball star? …at least until everyone else grew tall, and I stayed short, and I got benched! ha ha…true story…I have to say, though, that for me, my nightmare was at home. That’s where I got the put-downs and the, “Only a B+? Why didn’t you get an A?” …and “You’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on!” etc. At school, I had a reputation as a “writer” by the age of 7 or 8. AND I had a big fat crush on one of my teachers; he was so supportive and encouraging of my writing.

9:30pm Jeff:    You may find it interesting that some of the women in my life have been the ones who were interested in and who played sports. I don’t really want to say much more about my school experience because you’re just going to turn it into a “Wow…isn’t Canada great?” kind of thing and I won’t play that game. …Alright…I’ll play. I was never encouraged to do anything in school or by a teacher. Not until I was in college.

9:36pm Zoë:    Wow, Jeff, that totally wasn’t fair!! All the women I’ve interviewed so far were Canadian, and their school experiences, like yours, sucked! I said I was exceptionally lucky, and I was. I think the school system in Quebec at the time I attended public school was very advanced, at least it was in my little town, but I am well aware that that was the exception, not the rule. And because I’m pissed at you, I’m going to say that the reason the women you’re drawn to are all athletes is because men are always compensating for SOMETHING!! LOL Now, let’s get on with our talk, I feel like there’s SO MUCH MORE to say!!

[END OF PART I]

Yes, there is certainly SO MUCH MORE to say.  SEE  He Said / She Said: The “Education” of an ADHDer, Part II

Disclaimer: Although the He Said / She Said series is a collaborative effort between Zoë Kessler and Jeff Siegel, each author speaks for her or himself and the opinions expressed are solely those of the respective authors, in both the He Said / She Said series, as well as in their respective blogs [ADHD from A to Zoë and Jeff’s A.D.D. Mind]

If you missed our Introduction to He Said / She Said, check it out HERE.

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He Said / She Said: Examining the ADHD Life – The “Education” of an ADHDer (Part I) | Jeff's A.D.D. Mind (July 12, 2010)

From Psych Central's website:
He Said/She Said:Examining the ADHD Life-Educating an ADHDer | ADHD from A to Zoë (July 14, 2010)

Hiding in Plain Sight: Adult ADHD In A Social Setting | Jeff's A.D.D. Mind (September 13, 2010)

    Last reviewed: 12 Jul 2010