Adjusting to having ADHD

I’ve been taking stock of all the changes that have happened since I learned I had ADHD. One of the best is, I’ve gone from feeling ashamed of being “flawed,” to feeling completely comfortable in announcing, rather matter-of-factly, that I have ADHD.

When necessary, that is.

Stigmatization

At first, I received negative comments and uninformed remarks at my admission. These would sting and send me back into hiding. I wondered what the point was in letting anyone else know about it. But the more I think about it, the more I think there has to be a balance between my working hard to fit in to the world, and the world fitting in with me.

Accommodations for others…why not me & ADHD?

I mean, if I were blind, or in a wheelchair, accommodations would be made, right?  Well, sometimes. So maybe it should be give and take for me, too.  Live and let live.  Compromise. Not something I’ve been particularly good at, but which I’ve come to appreciate, more and more.

I’m doing my part…

I’m no longer late for appointments (well, rarely); and I do know how important it is to return e-mails, phone calls and RSVP’s in a timely fashion, and I’m getting better at that.

But, hey, world…how about some accommodation for me once in a while?

Case in point

Today I went to order new glasses. I tried a new optometrist, one I’d heard lots of good things about over the past year or two. When I arrived at her clinic, it was bright, busy, and bustling.  Not an atmosphere I operate well in at the best of times.

And I made a great discovery: I’m no longer afraid or embarrassed to ask in public places to have a tv screen turned off when it’s driving me crazy, and to cite my ADHD as the reason.

Hustle + Bustle = Stimulus Overload!

When I arrived at my new optometrist’s office, they very reasonably asked me to fill out their medical form. I could feel my head was busier than usual. That, combined with a half-full waiting room, happy but busy staff flitting to and fro, offices surrounding the waiting area and technicians and other staff going in and out of various examination rooms, many conversations going on at once, and two TV screens (one on each side of a post), I knew I would not be able to function at my best. If at all.

Biting the bullet, then spitting it out

My initial step was to accommodate myself to the situation. I’d moved to the far side of the waiting room to avoid the first TV screen (which was blaring commercials and information that I hadn’t asked for about the glasses biz), only to discover a second screen on the other side of the post. Once I sat down, I knew there was no way I could focus on the task at hand (i.e. filling out the medical form). So — I very politely asked the technician who’d just blown air in my eyes (I figured this might put me at a sympathetic advantage already) if she would consider turning off the second TV screen so I could fill out my form. “I have ADHD,” I announced in no particular tone, just matter-of-factly, but watching her face to measure her reaction.

Holding my breath

Seeing people’s reactions to a grown adult — and a woman at that — is part of my research into the sociology of adult ADHD.  Few seem to know about it, fewer believe you when you tell them you have it and an unfortunate few react with graciousness, let alone being helpful and accommodating. More often, they’ve blurted out impulsively rude comments (Hmmm…wait a minute…maybe ADD is more prevalent than I thought…!).

ADHD accommodations: comfortable, reasonable and worth the price of asking!

Today, the response was wonderful and low-key. The technician considerately turned off the screen with no fuss and no drama. I got my questionnaire filled out just fine, with my dignity in tact.

AND – I realized I’ve overcome my feelings of shame and stigmatization around having ADHD. I no longer hesitate to ask for accommodations should I need them.

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    Last reviewed: 26 Feb 2011