Archives for weakness
Ability to focus or not, I can work on things. But I don't want to talk about focus today. Nor do I want to talk about hyperfocus, or whether it exists, or whether it should be called perseveration, or whether it can be used to our advantage ... Nor do I want to discuss how long it can take one of us to do a large project and see it through to the end. Some of us can, most of us struggle, some of us fail. 'Nuff said. I also don't want to talk about time perception, or time management, though I do want to talk about
I do a lot of things to fill my time. I'm not bragging, I really do a lot of different things. Granted, a lot of them have to do with writing, but not all of them. And some of them have to do with computers, but not all of them. And the truth is that I still have to do the odd job as a contractor. But not so much anymore. I'm weening myself off of that addiction. Pretty soon I'll just be an occasional contractor, doing it just for myself.
Sometimes things go wrong with computers on the internet. Sometimes it's a problem with the computer and sometimes it's a problem with the internet service. We call problems with the computer, “client side” issues. Internet service problems are “server side” issues. Sometimes things go wrong in life for people with ADHD. When the things that go wrong originate out in the world and get dropped at our feet, we could call that “server side” issues. When the things that go wrong are caused by ADHD symptoms, that is most definitely “client side” issues.
I'm tired. Like, really tired. I have more than three jobs. It's like three and a half, actually. And that's just my normal life. I write blogs, I write fiction, and I write music. And the half job? I play the music I write whenever I get a chance. I'm also a contractor at times, though I'm trying to retire from that. All this is the norm for me Yes, it is, but right now is not a normal time in my life.
When I was born, there was only me. I was all there was in this body, in this mind. And I was enough for a long time. I was good enough, I was happy enough, I was smart enough. Then as I got older, like all children, it became apparent that there were things I was good at and things I was not so good at. Now everyone has things they're good at. We call that talent, and we try to help people capitalize on those things. And as to the things that we're not so good at, we often just learn to avoid the situations where the need for those skills might arise.
So, America, you have an election coming up do you? I'm just up here in Canada watching. I have no opinions to pass on. Well, let's be clear, I have opinions, I just have none about your candidates, none I care to pass on that is. It's not my place to tell you how I think about candidates I can't vote for, not my place to suggest that the choices I might make if I could would have any business in a post here. But I have opinions about ADHD and politics. Or at least I have opinions about ADHD symptoms and candidates.
I just had a dental appointment. Apparently I should be receiving a medal for that. And yet, it was no big deal. I made the appointment, I put it in my calendar, my phone reminded me, my dentist's office reminded me, I got there with nearly four minutes to spare. It was all very laid back, very calm and uneventful. So why is it that people with ADHD have such poor oral health? In fact who says that people with ADHD have poor oral health?
So I may be in trouble. I'm not sure. The truth is that I may have missed an appointment. Or, I might have been supposed to do something, for someone, maybe ... I don't know. I have a friend who moved. That friend used to live in another friends home. The other friend still gets mail for the friend who moved and when that happens, I get to deliver it. Just such a piece of mail arrived the other day and was handed off to me. I got in touch with its intended recipient and made arrangements to meet on Thursday to exchange pleasantries, coffee and the above mentioned missive. I remember hanging up the phone and thinking, “That's two appointments on Thursday morning.”
I am very sick, and very tired. I mean really sick. I've got a bug, a cold, whatever. My head Is as thick as ... well, it's really plugged, I mean really really plugged. And tired? Yes, I'm tired. Fighting this kind of thing isn't easy on a person. They tire you out. I'm yawning and drifting off, and I'm not actually wearing myself out by doing much of anything. And is my ADHD affected? You bet your missing car keys and shiny desk kitsch it is.
I could write three blog posts every Friday and schedule them to publish over the next week. Or, I could write 12 or 13 of them at the end of each month and schedule them to be published, one every Monday, Wednesday and Friday through the next month. But that doesn't happen. What happens most often is that the night before my self imposed deadline I sit down and write a blog post based on some inspiration I've had that day. Or, I do some reading and come up with some inspiration. Either way, I manage to write a blog post. One. No more. Then I schedule it for the next morning and I go to bed. Since I began writing this blog I've been pretty good with my deadlines, I've missed two or three of them, but I've always made up for the ones I've missed. Four times I've gotten up out of bed to write at night after realizing I have a deadline the next day after going to bed. And once, I set my alarm for five so that I could get up and write a post the morning of, when I was just too exhausted to write that night.