Archives for Strength
There are things that your boss, supervisor, or employer should know about your ADHD. But oddly enough, not one of those things that they need to know is the fact that you have ADHD.
Now there are exceptions to every rule. For instance, if I hadn't told Dr. Grohol that I had ADHD, he would probably not have offered me the opportunity to write about it here.
But this isn't the only place I work, and while he isn't the only boss I have that knows about my ADHD, I don't tell everyone about it.
And really, this is a special case. My job here is to tell people about ADHD.
There are many things that can be done the right way or the wrong way. And there are rather a lot of things that can be done different ways.
To be truthful, there are lots of people who believe that things must be done a certain way to be done the right way, even if others believe that those same things should be done a different way. Some people are just set that way and can't be reset.
And yes, there is always a wrong way to do anything. There's probably several wrong ways to do anything and there are some things that have many wrong ways of being done. In fact, the doing of some things is wrong. Murder, theft, and homophobic, misogynistic or bigoted actions come to mind.
I noticed a week ago that October was ADHD month. I thought, “Well alright. I didn't miss it, it didn't sneak up on me.”
Then I kind of forgot about it. Now we're a week in. And rather than being embarrassed, I'm kind of proud. What better way of heralding our own month in but by doing so a week late, but with the best of intentions.
And besides, ADHD awareness month is kind of a joke. Well, at least it is for us. If you have ADHD, you either know it or you don't. If you have it and don't know, it's because you don't yet know what ADHD really is. And if you have it and do know, then you're already aware. Well aware. And you're aware in the other 11 months too, not just October.
So there's this website called ADHD Kids Rock. It's a place where kids can read about Jeff Rasmussen's determination to succeed in the face of ADHD, and where they can also engage, discuss and learn about ADHD and how it affects their lives and the lives of others.
And while this is a blog about adult ADHD, the truths are that none of us became adults without first being kids, that many of us have kids who are dealing with ADHD (and wouldn't it be nice to give them more of a boost than we had), and hey, who among us is that grown up?
So I support this website and admire what Jeff has started out to achieve, and I will do whatever I can to help out there. And one way I can help is to promote the place.
Art belongs in the ADHD life. It is intrinsic to the distracted, eclectic and rapid life of people with ADHD. And even though some of us are intently devoted to work and callings that are not considered artistic in nature, the truth is that we bring art to those things and find art in them as well.
At one time, my work was the work of a computer programmer. If you were looking for something that seemed to be the antithesis of art, computer programming seemed to be it.
And yet, there is a beauty to well written code. Like choice of medium, the subtleties of a programming language manipulated by a skilled coder could appear to have a beauty that could be appreciated. Constructions of procedures and functions could be observed to be blatantly sublime to the minds of other coders and systems analysts.
I'm on vacation. Yes. Right now. I'm sitting in a chair, looking out over a vast expanse of open water, my feet up, my soul filled with contentment, my mind … well, never mind what my mind is doing.
So why am I writing a blog post while I'm on vacation? Because … well ... because, shut up, that's why.
Honestly, I don't know why. I could have taken the week off and caught up next week. Or I could have scheduled a post or two in advance and been free of the burden of upcoming deadlines.
But instead, I just thought, “Lets see what happens.”
Today isn't my best day. Today is Tuesday, July 21st. You're reading this on Wednesday if you're reading it fresh. Tuesday is my wedding anniversary. Or it would be if I weren't a widower.
And Wednesday? (Today for you.) Wednesday is the anniversary of my wife's passing. I'm writing this on Tuesday while knowing that it will be published on Wednesday and it's hard to keep my focus on writing about ADHD with these things being part of the flavor of these days.
It's interesting to note that, because of poor time management and poor time awareness, I have at least once discovered that these two anniversaries have slipped by unnoticed by me until they were in the past.
People sometimes tell me they have trouble keeping up with me. Well, not so often anymore, since my body has gotten older on me. But still, some people think I get around a lot.
And to tell the truth, for various reasons I don't always tell people everything I do. Sometimes I forget things I did, sometimes they weren't really things to be proud of, and sometimes I just don't think some folks can handle hearing about the madness of my days and weeks.
Do you remember school? Did you do okay or did you have trouble? Or did you have trouble but still manage to do okay?
I had trouble. There were times when I did okay in spite of the problems that ADHD causes, but I'm certain that most of those times were because teachers either rolled me on to the next grade to be someone else's problem, or they took the time to assure themselves that I knew the lessons even if I hadn't bothered to do the work.
And what was I doing when I wasn't doing the lessons? Well that would depend on the grade.
Things happen in this ADHD life that make me glad I'm aware of what goes on in my head.
But even still, there are disappointments aplenty. In fact, there are times when I get fairly depressed.
And when that happens, it can be a self-perpetuating situation. The depression can cause stress, the stress can exacerbate the symptoms, the symptoms can cause more disappointments and the disappointments can increase the depression.