Archives for Strength
I do a lot of things to fill my time. I'm not bragging, I really do a lot of different things. Granted, a lot of them have to do with writing, but not all of them. And some of them have to do with computers, but not all of them. And the truth is that I still have to do the odd job as a contractor. But not so much anymore. I'm weening myself off of that addiction. Pretty soon I'll just be an occasional contractor, doing it just for myself.
I have Fibromyalgia. I mention this because the best treatment for it is the opposite of what you might expect it to be. The best treatment, at least in my experience, is to remain as active as possible. Why mention this? Well, I was wandering through my past, thinking of things that worked and things that didn't work for ADHD management, and I realized that this approach applies to ADHD as much as it does to Fibromyalgia. What? No, not the part about being as active as possible. Well, maybe … No, wait. What I mean is that the best way to approach ADHD management is sometimes the least likely to be considered.
Sometimes things go wrong with computers on the internet. Sometimes it's a problem with the computer and sometimes it's a problem with the internet service. We call problems with the computer, “client side” issues. Internet service problems are “server side” issues. Sometimes things go wrong in life for people with ADHD. When the things that go wrong originate out in the world and get dropped at our feet, we could call that “server side” issues. When the things that go wrong are caused by ADHD symptoms, that is most definitely “client side” issues.
When I was born, there was only me. I was all there was in this body, in this mind. And I was enough for a long time. I was good enough, I was happy enough, I was smart enough. Then as I got older, like all children, it became apparent that there were things I was good at and things I was not so good at. Now everyone has things they're good at. We call that talent, and we try to help people capitalize on those things. And as to the things that we're not so good at, we often just learn to avoid the situations where the need for those skills might arise.
So, America, you have an election coming up do you? I'm just up here in Canada watching. I have no opinions to pass on. Well, let's be clear, I have opinions, I just have none about your candidates, none I care to pass on that is. It's not my place to tell you how I think about candidates I can't vote for, not my place to suggest that the choices I might make if I could would have any business in a post here. But I have opinions about ADHD and politics. Or at least I have opinions about ADHD symptoms and candidates.
So I may be in trouble. I'm not sure. The truth is that I may have missed an appointment. Or, I might have been supposed to do something, for someone, maybe ... I don't know. I have a friend who moved. That friend used to live in another friends home. The other friend still gets mail for the friend who moved and when that happens, I get to deliver it. Just such a piece of mail arrived the other day and was handed off to me. I got in touch with its intended recipient and made arrangements to meet on Thursday to exchange pleasantries, coffee and the above mentioned missive. I remember hanging up the phone and thinking, “That's two appointments on Thursday morning.”
When someone enters into a relationship, they bring all their baggage. When someone with ADHD enters into a relationship, it's no different. Well, it's no different in that they bring all their baggage. How it differs is that once unpacked, you find out that was just the stuff they brought in their car. There's still the moving van. “What's in the van?” you ask? Well, that's all the little quirks and symptoms that make up our ADHD.
I could write three blog posts every Friday and schedule them to publish over the next week. Or, I could write 12 or 13 of them at the end of each month and schedule them to be published, one every Monday, Wednesday and Friday through the next month. But that doesn't happen. What happens most often is that the night before my self imposed deadline I sit down and write a blog post based on some inspiration I've had that day. Or, I do some reading and come up with some inspiration. Either way, I manage to write a blog post. One. No more. Then I schedule it for the next morning and I go to bed. Since I began writing this blog I've been pretty good with my deadlines, I've missed two or three of them, but I've always made up for the ones I've missed. Four times I've gotten up out of bed to write at night after realizing I have a deadline the next day after going to bed. And once, I set my alarm for five so that I could get up and write a post the morning of, when I was just too exhausted to write that night.
I do. I have ADHD. It isn't something you catch, so don't worry, I'm not contagious. On the other hand, if you already have it but are oblivious, close proximity to me might cause you to catch on. See, I'm pretty aware of my disorder, pretty aware of the things it does to my life, the issues it causes, and yes, even the bonuses I can derive from it. And I'm not a quiet guy. So if you hang around with me, you'll start hearing all about life with ADHD. And if you recognize yourself in the picture I paint, you may catch a bad (or good) case of understanding.
At the Age of fifty I was diagnosed with ADHD. Before that I spent the better part of two years knowing, but not really knowing I had ADHD. During those two years I did a lot of research. I spent long periods of time that were marked with epiphany after epiphany. Revelations and moments of discovery were the order of the day, for many days. I also spent days where I would convince myself that I was wrong, that what I was experiencing was normal and what people with ADHD experienced was the same, but far, far worse.