First, we’d have to define normal. What is normal? Every child knew someone they wanted to be like. It was how we learned. We watched others and saw how they were treated. Then we chose how we wanted to be treated and acted accordingly. Or tried to.
After a while we came to appreciate that it might be easier to just fit in. we reassessed and tried to become a person who was as close to the average as we could get. We called this normal.
Many times we failed, but we just assumed we needed to work harder at it. It seemed so easy for many of our peers.
I love to talk. I know this to be true. I mean, blogging is really just talking with text. And I do that regularly, right? So what would be a good job for me?
What about talk show host? Maybe, but I can’t guarantee that I could stay on topic with every guest. “So, Mr. Mayor, does the city have any plans to deal with the squirrel problem? They really are quite distracting. … Pardon? You thought I’d be asking about your latest ‘crack smoking video’? Why would I do that?”
I had a large number of things to do yesterday, so naturally I started by checking Facebook to make sure the world hadn’t ended and just hadn’t sent me a memo or left me a voice mail about it.
It seemed the world hadn’t ended, even during the 45 minutes it took me to peruse my notifications and private messages. But a post on an ADHD page I frequent had gone viral. Well, almost viral. And I got caught up in it as it filled in like a stock ticker, with the next comment appearing nearly as fast as I could read the last one. I am a slow reader, but I’m not that slow.
The post was a meme that said: “So … if you could rid the world of one thing what would it be?”
A conversation in the future:
“Papa, Timothy , my friend at school, says there was a time when people thought they were normal. Is that true?”
“Ha ha, well, yes, Bonnie, that is true. There was a time when humanity knew so little that some of our ancestors thought of themselves that way. But we know better than that now.”
The people who align themselves with autism have coined the phrase ‘neuro-typical’ or ‘NT’ to refer to non-autistic people. I’ve also used ‘NT’ as well as the phrase ‘norman’, a concatenation of the words normal and human, to refer to non-ADHDers. The words normal and typical suggest that there is an average or a norm that is represented by the general population.
I thought I’d take the time to write a post about a thing I do. It has to do with time and I hope you have the time to read it.
I am always feeling like I’m falling behind. I feel like, no matter what I accomplish, there is more left to do than when I started.
As a result, I often find myself looking for the quickest, most efficient way to accomplish things. I calculate routes around town based on how many traffic lights I’ll encounter, how many stop signs I’ll have to deal with, how much traffic there will be on my chosen roads.
Ever get the feeling that your day just disappeared? Maybe I should ask if you ever get a day that seems to just pace itself perfectly and the things you need to do just get checked off in a timely and orderly fashion?
I know my answers. Days disappear all the time … and no, that other kind of day does not exist.
Okay, I do seem to have vague memories of days like that. From before my diagnosis, but I don’t know if they existed or if I just thought I’d had days like that.
I may have mentioned this before, I have ADHD. And though I’ve only known that for six years (I was diagnosed five years ago), I’ve had it most of my life.
I have an interesting view of my life, yet not a terribly unique one (there are many people my age just finding out about their ADHD). My view of my life is one where I have memories of life as a confused person thinking I was just like everyone else.
Now, as I look back, I see the effects of ADHD and the intricate ways in which I rationalized, ignored and denied those effects.
I know it’s Friday. The work week, for many, ends today. Just get through this and we’re free for the weekend.
This is your happy place, right? You get to blow off the stresses and strains of that old nine to five and let go.
Not me, I don’t have what you might call gainful employment. At least not of the regular flavor. Mine comes and goes. Some contracting here, a bit of writing there, some snow removal in the right season, a moving job now and then, and some editing all serve to keep the wolf from the door.
On Monday I looked at three of the main reasons I’m always struggling with clutter. They were distraction, hoarding, and pontification. Those were the things that seem to make creating messes and clutter an easy task for me.
There is an additional ADHD issue that makes rectifying the clutter an additionally difficult task. That thing is procrastination. More on that in a bit.
Stopping the clutter before it starts is never going to be easy for us.
There’s clutter in my world. There’s a three pronged offensive that causes a mess that follows me around.
The photo to the left doesn’t show the mess or clutter that was on the couch, it shows what happens when I make an effort to reclaim space. It took ten minutes to tidy up, it took three weeks to decide to.