Archives for Learning
When someone enters into a relationship, they bring all their baggage. When someone with ADHD enters into a relationship, it's no different.
Well, it's no different in that they bring all their baggage. How it differs is that once unpacked, you find out that was just the stuff they brought in their car. There's still the moving van.
“What's in the van?” you ask? Well, that's all the little quirks and symptoms that make up our ADHD.
I am very sick, and very tired. I mean really sick. I've got a bug, a cold, whatever. My head Is as thick as ... well, it's really plugged, I mean really really plugged.
And tired? Yes, I'm tired. Fighting this kind of thing isn't easy on a person. They tire you out. I'm yawning and drifting off, and I'm not actually wearing myself out by doing much of anything.
And is my ADHD affected?
You bet your missing car keys and shiny desk kitsch it is.
The oddest thing about ADHD is that every day is a new day.
I mean, I'm constantly believing that I've figured my life out, only to find myself starting from scratch the next day.
Why is that? I don't know.
What I have learned is that friends make a great difference. And attitude makes a great difference. And friends and attitude combined make a great difference.
I had a day today. Yes, I have a day every day, but you have to put the right emphasis on the words. Maybe if I embellish it a little, how's this? Man, did I ever have a day today!!!
I started out with the wrong glasses. That's because yesterday I broke my glasses while trying to clean them. So I dug out an older pair to wear while I repaired the current ones. Why would I repair the current ones you ask? Because they're nearly ten years old and I'm pretty sure if I take them to an optician they'll simply say “No.”
I have discovered something. Something about working online. It's not good. I've also discovered that it's not bad.
Yep, it's another ADHD dichotomy. A paradox of ADHD making. And I'm not sure how to score this one.
I work online. I work online a lot. And I spend a lot of time being distracted. Not much of a surprise really. The internet is a vast place of distractions, and social networks. And far from helping us organize those distractions, social networks really just seem to find newer, bigger, better and bolder ways to pass more distractions by our eyes in less time.
Making decisions is hard work. I mean, I'm pretty decisive, it just takes a long while to work up to that decisive moment.
Well, to tell the truth, sometimes I make snap decisions with less determination involved than if I'd flipped a coin. I'll say the first thing that comes into my head as if I'd been thinking about this very decision for days and just waiting for the opportunity to declare my choice.
When that happens, I do not then grit my teeth and wait for the worst. I usually immediately start working on spinning the back story to my decision to sound like I really did intend to make that choice all along.
Let's examine a few facts. Current statistics tell us that somewhere around ten percent of the population is affected by ADHD. We know that there is a still larger segment of the population that does not fall into the category of neuro-typical. And I'm not going to attempt to guess what that percentage is.
Now I'm okay with the word normal, it's the antonyms that I have problems with. The idea is that those of us who fall outside the realm of neuro-typical are not normal. We're abnormal, sub-normal.
But down through the ages, ideas have been wrong. And this one is wrong also. This one is very wrong.
It's wrong because there are many of us. How can we not be normal if there are so many of us. Well, that's easy, because there are only one to five of us in any one classroom, only 10 to 50 of us in any ten classrooms. In any work place with more than 10 people there is likely to be one or more of us. That's not a lot of us.
I've been trying to organize my house. I'm looking at making some big changes but first I need to be ready for them by making some changes.
Wait, that sounds confusing. I need to clear away the clutter, throw out things I've been hoarding, downsize, simplify.
So I'm starting from the ground and working my way up. The ground I'm talking about is my basement. It isn't an easy thing, but I've had help.
My late wife had an antique shop in the basement and for four and a half years since her passing those antiques have sat waiting for me to do something with them.
It was too much. I'd go down there and start to pack them away and it would be like nothing was getting done.
So you want to know what ADHD is like? I'll tell you what it's like. It's like ... but wait. Why should I tell you? If you want to know, you should just experience it.
And the best way to experience things (I've learned this from “cop shows”) is to go on a ride-along. The great part about this is you won't need a bullet proof vest. At least, I don't think you'll need ..... Well, maybe bring it along just in case.
We'll start with the beginning of the day. Did you know that people with ADHD have sensitivity to irritating physical stimuli? First thing in the morning I get up and get dressed, my T-shirts often have holes in the back of the collar where I've ripped out the label.
My jeans are from the second hand store because someone has already broken them in. As a child I hated wearing new jeans, the only cool thing about them was when you took them off at night your legs were usually blue from dye transfer. Oh, and you could lean them against the wall, they were so stiff they could stand on their own. I know jeans are a lot less rigid now, but I still buy mine used. Old habits.
I know, we aren't all good. Some of us are jerks. I might be one of those, how does one tell?
Anyway, the thing is that we are no worse then the worst of the rest of the population and no better then the best of the rest of them. We are people. We have our differences. But mostly we are interchangeable with the gen-pop (general population).
Some of our differences are just trivial. We are more likely to be mixed dominant, or left handed. You can't get much more random or trivial than that. Well, trivial unless you believe that lefties are Satan's minions, then I suppose you might think that's less trivial. But hey, they aren't. You know, Satan's minions, they're not.