Archives for Learning
Yes, I know that title makes no sense on many levels. This was not a win. This was more like me drawing the short straw than having my numbers drawn.
But you know me, I'm a pretty positive guy. And if there's a bright side to something, you know I'm going to find it, right? I wrestled my dashing thoughts into a semblance of creativity and leveraged that into half a writing career. And who knows, someday it might be my whole career.
And I've channelled my spontaneity and irreverent attitude into my stage presence so that I'm now as comfortable on stage as I am at home in my Pjs. Okay, I was never really uncomfortable on stage, but I am now less klutzy and absent when I'm there.
But that's not really what I'd call winning the lottery, and I wouldn't expect you to either. And before you get excited, no I didn't win the real lottery. If I had, I'd have e-mailed you all a sparkler, hat and noise maker so you could have helped me celebrate.
So, on Monday I told you about my writers' retreat. I told you, in my own way, that everything you might think was going to be a problem for me was, in actuality, a benefit.
And then I hinted, rather blatantly, that this had given me an idea. And it certainly has done. I'm not sure it's a good one, but I'm going to describe it here anyway. Tell me what you think when I've had my say.
I spent much of my weekend at a writers' retreat, and it was great. Awful, but great.
First, let's cover the awful. It started on Friday evening, I got there Saturday around one-ish. Things to do, you know. I'm a busy guy. You have no idea …. oh, yeah, you probably do have some idea. Well then, you understand what I'm saying, right?
Also, there was a pool table at this retreat. And walking trails, there was a massive number of interconnecting trails in the great outdoors, through timbered hilly area. I'm supposed to be writing, and there's pool and trails.
Well, there's another thirty minutes of my life that I'll never get back. I went to load up for work yesterday. Of course I did the “Gettin' out the door” shuffle. Got my phone? Nope. Where is it? In the bedroom? Nope. But my shoes are here. Bathroom? There's my watch and glasses. Okay, let's roll.
Wait, where's my phone? Right, that's what I was looking for. Kitchen? Nope. Wait, refrigerator? Ha, no. Thank goodness. Ah, there it is. Next to my keys, on the stand beside my Lazyboy.
I'm a busy guy, and I have lots of energy most of the time. I use that energy to keep me moving and I move pretty fast sometimes. And sometimes I get so engrossed in what I'm doing that I keep going until I can't go any farther.
But that isn't what ADHD is
I've kind of gotten a handle on that now anyway. I seem to have gotten leery of activities that attract me at an intensity that is more than what might be considered healthy. I put off doing them until I can do them without being possessed by them.
So there's this website called ADHD Kids Rock. It's a place where kids can read about Jeff Rasmussen's determination to succeed in the face of ADHD, and where they can also engage, discuss and learn about ADHD and how it affects their lives and the lives of others.
And while this is a blog about adult ADHD, the truths are that none of us became adults without first being kids, that many of us have kids who are dealing with ADHD (and wouldn't it be nice to give them more of a boost than we had), and hey, who among us is that grown up?
So I support this website and admire what Jeff has started out to achieve, and I will do whatever I can to help out there. And one way I can help is to promote the place.
Years ago, I had no idea of the existence of the two hour vortex. In fact, I learned about ADHD before I discovered the vortex. And in truth, I never connected the two until very recently.
Just like coasting through life, oblivious of the existence of ADHD in ones life, in the pre-diagnosis days, because of that good old lack of meta-cognition, the vortex has existed, and been familiar to me without my actually consciously recognizing it.
All through my life prior to diagnosis, I would experience distraction, hyper-focus, procrastination of epic proportions, and all the other aspects of my particular variation of ADHD, and never recognize the consistency of it. I'd assume myself to be the victim of bad luck.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? A perplexing question. And it poses an interesting problem when we observe the closed system of poultry reproduction.
One might also ask, which came first, the parent or the child, and that would figuratively lead us down another path of investigation and intrigue.
Now, bearing these things on a shelf in one corner of the mind, let us consider the ADHD penchant for artistic expression.
Yes, I'm aware that some deny the existence of such a link, but I'm equally aware that a quick survey of my acquaintances, both with and without ADHD reveal a tendency towards art as an expression of vocation or at the very least a preferred method of relaxation or choice for a hobby among those with ADHD and a lesser tendency towards the same among those who are, shall we say, neuro-typical.
Art belongs in the ADHD life. It is intrinsic to the distracted, eclectic and rapid life of people with ADHD. And even though some of us are intently devoted to work and callings that are not considered artistic in nature, the truth is that we bring art to those things and find art in them as well.
At one time, my work was the work of a computer programmer. If you were looking for something that seemed to be the antithesis of art, computer programming seemed to be it.
And yet, there is a beauty to well written code. Like choice of medium, the subtleties of a programming language manipulated by a skilled coder could appear to have a beauty that could be appreciated. Constructions of procedures and functions could be observed to be blatantly sublime to the minds of other coders and systems analysts.
I've been told that I have anger management issues, and I can't even begin to tell you how ticked off that made me feel.
Apparently some people believe that those of us with ADHD get angry easier and more often than people without.
The truth for me is that I get angry when I'm frustrated. And if I'm frustrated by someone unable to understand that I'm not angry … well, it's a pointless debate for me to engage in because I can't win. If I'm right, the frustration will soon leave me angry and then no one will believe I'm not angry, because I no longer am. Not angry, that is.