Archives for humor
Having ADHD is like being normal, 'cause for me, it is normal. I've never been any other way. To me, people without ADHD are the oddballs. No offense, but from where I sit, they're really quite strange. I mean, really, how can you live with a brain that moves that slow? It's like it must be stuck in low gear or something. And then they're always stopping to think. How does that even make sense? “Let me stop and think about that for a minute ...” Really? Stop what? Thinking? I say, “Let me think about that, along with everything else I'm currently pondering!”
It's Thursday evening. Just another Thursday evening. I'm writing this for tomorrow morning so if you're reading this and it's fresh, it's actually Friday. But through the magical teleportation of the blogosphere I am taking you back to last night. But is it in fact, just another Thursday night? Well, now that you mention it, it is not. What? Oh, well, yes, I was the one that mentioned it, but that's just more blogosphere magic where I get to say things like that because you're not here to defend yourself, and I'm actually just talking to a fictional “you” in my head. What's that? Why is a fictional "you" asking questions? Good point. Stop it.
What's a boy to do? I have a witty and rapid mind. I often find the funny where others don't suspect there is any. And then I reveal it. I'm told that I say inappropriate things because my executive function was sourced at the Good Will in the discount aisle. I don't know if that's true, I've never experienced any other executive function from this point of view. For all I know my E.F. would work fine if I could just find the on switch. It sort of works, but it's kind of like coasting. Yeah, that's it, coasting, like a bicycle, with no brakes, and the chain off, going down hill, maybe at night. Functional, but I don't get to choose the speed.
You and I know that there are a lot of inside jokes about ADHD that are funny. And if you're like me, you don't mind sharing them with people who don't have ADHD, so long as they are open minded people. When narrow minded people use ADHD as the punchline of some joke or personal humorous anecdote I start having a problem. And when the humor comes from a supposition that ADHD is not real or not as invasive or insidious as we know it to be, then I lose my sense of humor really quickly.
I'm not well. I have some kind of bug. And yes, it's annoying me. My head is aching and my eyes are itchy and my sinuses … well, some of you might be eating, let's not discuss what my sinuses are doing. My lungs are okay though, so far, anyway, which is a good thing I think. I was at my monthly artists event here in my town, we call it “Sounds,” and I was able to play and sing a song. By the end of that song, though, I was ready to get off stage. My head was swimming and I felt a bit sweaty and overheated. Luckily it was just an open mic spot, and not the featured entertainer gig.
Yes, I know that title makes no sense on many levels. This was not a win. This was more like me drawing the short straw than having my numbers drawn. But you know me, I'm a pretty positive guy. And if there's a bright side to something, you know I'm going to find it, right? I wrestled my dashing thoughts into a semblance of creativity and leveraged that into half a writing career. And who knows, someday it might be my whole career. And I've channelled my spontaneity and irreverent attitude into my stage presence so that I'm now as comfortable on stage as I am at home in my Pjs. Okay, I was never really uncomfortable on stage, but I am now less klutzy and absent when I'm there. But that's not really what I'd call winning the lottery, and I wouldn't expect you to either. And before you get excited, no I didn't win the real lottery. If I had, I'd have e-mailed you all a sparkler, hat and noise maker so you could have helped me celebrate.
Well, there's another thirty minutes of my life that I'll never get back. I went to load up for work yesterday. Of course I did the “Gettin' out the door” shuffle. Got my phone? Nope. Where is it? In the bedroom? Nope. But my shoes are here. Bathroom? There's my watch and glasses. Okay, let's roll. Wait, where's my phone? Right, that's what I was looking for. Kitchen? Nope. Wait, refrigerator? Ha, no. Thank goodness. Ah, there it is. Next to my keys, on the stand beside my Lazyboy.
I had a great idea for a blog post today. It was so good I thought I'd never forget it. You're reading this instead. But you know, for the most part, I write things down now. I have a note pad and a pen in my pocket at all times. And sometimes when it's time to write a post, all I have to do is read my note pad and there are a whole bunch of ideas. Admittedly, some of them sounded better before I wrote them down. Somehow a lot of them lose something in the brewing and steeping that occurs in my pocket after being recorded.
Impulsiveness is a large part of ADHD. In fact, it's a big part of one of the subtypes. But you don't have to have “ADHD, primarily hyperactive” to be intimately acquainted with the details of impulsiveness. In fact I think there's some impulsivity in all ADHD. But don't take my word for it, read on and see if I'm right. And if I'm wrong, well, no two of us are exactly alike. But I still think there's a lot of impulsiveness in the ADHD life.
Quick, where's your umbrella? Front hall closet, maybe? Nope,it's not there. That's where I would have guessed too, but we were both wrong. Maybe you left it in the car? I checked for mine in my truck behind the seats, but it wasn't there. You go look and see. No, eh? Sorry, I thought you'd have been luckier than I was. Where else could it be? Beside the back door? Did you loan it to someone? Is it in the downstairs shower where you left it to drain the last time you used it? No?