Archives for humor
Okay, I admit it. I can be a bit verbose, chatty, long winded. I'm Garrulous. Rambling. Wordy. You know, I tend to talk too much. I'm reassured, though, by the fact that I never stay on one subject long enough to bore anyone. At least I don't think I bore anyone. I've never been told I do. I've never really been told much of anything, once I get talking. That's why I'm sure it's okay. Surely someone would have said something by now, right?
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide the worlds population into groups, and those who don't. Obviously, I am in the first group. There are many other criteria for dividing up the population, gender, skin pigment, political leanings, and so on. And without exception, the divisions should only be applied for the sake of statistical analysis. Never for application of service or restriction of same should populations be divided. But there are other divisions that we might study as well. There are those who
I live a life of ADHD and I do it rather well I think. I spent a lot of my life not knowing about ADHD and as such, I was certainly unaware that I had it. Then along came the old diagnosis after a half century, and now I spend my days observing things I could have seen all my life but had no frame of reference by which to understand. After the diagnosis, the revelations started coming fast and furious. The number of times I would find myself saying “Aha!” or “OMG, that's why I ...” were frequent, let me tell you.
There are those who postulate that people with ADHD are just not trying hard enough, that we're lazy. There are those who suggest that we aren't very bright, that we're stupid. I've recently read memes that offer the solution of corporal punishment to “cure” ADHD in children. I suppose the idea is that if the inattentiveness can be beaten out of them they'll just be stupid and that will be acceptable. After all, there's lots of
I've had some rough times in my life. And to be honest, I've been sort of looking forward to growing old. You know, that peaceful golden time when I might sit on a porch and spend my declining years as reclining years. Let my mind wander through my life's exploits until it gets to the fence of reality and crosses over into wandering places I've never been. But now that I'm finally of a vintage that might command some sort of respect just by the date on the label, I'm beginning to realize what many vintners already know.
Having ADHD is like being normal, 'cause for me, it is normal. I've never been any other way. To me, people without ADHD are the oddballs. No offense, but from where I sit, they're really quite strange. I mean, really, how can you live with a brain that moves that slow? It's like it must be stuck in low gear or something. And then they're always stopping to think. How does that even make sense? “Let me stop and think about that for a minute ...” Really? Stop what? Thinking? I say, “Let me think about that, along with everything else I'm currently pondering!”
It's Thursday evening. Just another Thursday evening. I'm writing this for tomorrow morning so if you're reading this and it's fresh, it's actually Friday. But through the magical teleportation of the blogosphere I am taking you back to last night. But is it in fact, just another Thursday night? Well, now that you mention it, it is not. What? Oh, well, yes, I was the one that mentioned it, but that's just more blogosphere magic where I get to say things like that because you're not here to defend yourself, and I'm actually just talking to a fictional “you” in my head. What's that? Why is a fictional "you" asking questions? Good point. Stop it.
What's a boy to do? I have a witty and rapid mind. I often find the funny where others don't suspect there is any. And then I reveal it. I'm told that I say inappropriate things because my executive function was sourced at the Good Will in the discount aisle. I don't know if that's true, I've never experienced any other executive function from this point of view. For all I know my E.F. would work fine if I could just find the on switch. It sort of works, but it's kind of like coasting. Yeah, that's it, coasting, like a bicycle, with no brakes, and the chain off, going down hill, maybe at night. Functional, but I don't get to choose the speed.
You and I know that there are a lot of inside jokes about ADHD that are funny. And if you're like me, you don't mind sharing them with people who don't have ADHD, so long as they are open minded people. When narrow minded people use ADHD as the punchline of some joke or personal humorous anecdote I start having a problem. And when the humor comes from a supposition that ADHD is not real or not as invasive or insidious as we know it to be, then I lose my sense of humor really quickly.
I'm not well. I have some kind of bug. And yes, it's annoying me. My head is aching and my eyes are itchy and my sinuses … well, some of you might be eating, let's not discuss what my sinuses are doing. My lungs are okay though, so far, anyway, which is a good thing I think. I was at my monthly artists event here in my town, we call it “Sounds,” and I was able to play and sing a song. By the end of that song, though, I was ready to get off stage. My head was swimming and I felt a bit sweaty and overheated. Luckily it was just an open mic spot, and not the featured entertainer gig.