What did I say on Wednesday? What were those fateful words? Yeah, I don’t remember either, let’s look them up.
Here they are, “And what about all those things you’ve been unable to keep track of that have caused you so much aggravation? Sure we can call that a flawed memory, but we could also look at it as training in the fine art of trouble shooting, of salvaging situations when they go pear shaped. And we didn’t get good at that by being normal, did we?”
And on Monday, I was talking about being overwhelmed. In that post I said, “Some missteps can be lessons, and I’m always ready to learn. True, I have to experience some lessons an inordinately large number of times, but eventually I clue in.”
Okay, I think I’ve figured something out. The cause of ADHD is everywhere. It’s iodine.
I mean think about it, iodine is in the salt we eat, and no matter how we try to avoid salt, it’s in everything.
Of course you’re asking why doesn’t everyone have ADHD. Well, if we keep going, soon everyone will.
I think I’ve just figured out the answer to a really big problem. I think I’ve just solved world poverty. Well, maybe.
This may sound like I’m joking here, and I want to assure you all that I am not making fun of people who live below the poverty line nor those who live in extreme poverty conditions in the third, or even here in the first world.
In fact, if I’m making fun of anyone, it is the people who drive the vehicle we know by the name “economy.”
I love to talk. I know this to be true. I mean, blogging is really just talking with text. And I do that regularly, right? So what would be a good job for me?
What about talk show host? Maybe, but I can’t guarantee that I could stay on topic with every guest. “So, Mr. Mayor, does the city have any plans to deal with the squirrel problem? They really are quite distracting. … Pardon? You thought I’d be asking about your latest ‘crack smoking video’? Why would I do that?”
A conversation in the future:
“Papa, Timothy , my friend at school, says there was a time when people thought they were normal. Is that true?”
“Ha ha, well, yes, Bonnie, that is true. There was a time when humanity knew so little that some of our ancestors thought of themselves that way. But we know better than that now.”
The people who align themselves with autism have coined the phrase ‘neuro-typical’ or ‘NT’ to refer to non-autistic people. I’ve also used ‘NT’ as well as the phrase ‘norman’, a concatenation of the words normal and human, to refer to non-ADHDers. The words normal and typical suggest that there is an average or a norm that is represented by the general population.
I may have mentioned this before, I have ADHD. And though I’ve only known that for six years (I was diagnosed five years ago), I’ve had it most of my life.
I have an interesting view of my life, yet not a terribly unique one (there are many people my age just finding out about their ADHD). My view of my life is one where I have memories of life as a confused person thinking I was just like everyone else.
Now, as I look back, I see the effects of ADHD and the intricate ways in which I rationalized, ignored and denied those effects.
I know it’s Friday. The work week, for many, ends today. Just get through this and we’re free for the weekend.
This is your happy place, right? You get to blow off the stresses and strains of that old nine to five and let go.
Not me, I don’t have what you might call gainful employment. At least not of the regular flavor. Mine comes and goes. Some contracting here, a bit of writing there, some snow removal in the right season, a moving job now and then, and some editing all serve to keep the wolf from the door.
You know I’m going to forget Valentines Day, right? And your birthday, if there’s no reminders all over the place. Anniversaries? Yeah, I’ve gotten really good at the Hail Mary play. You know, where I come up with something really great at the last minute and save my sorry self from the dog house?
I don’t think I can say that people with ADHD are better lovers because they forget special occasions. Or can I? The fact that we are placed in this situation so often in our lives has possibly made us very good at coming up with romantic plans on short notice. Will we count that as number five? Lets wait and see if we need to.
You say you want someone to do a job for you? Tell me about the job.
You say the work is such that you’ll need to explain it to them and then leave them to do the best they can? You need someone with ADHD.
You say you don’t care when they do it, so long as it gets done on time? You don’t care if they can work nights and sleep days, or sit and think about it for the first three quarters of the allotted time and then burst into action when it’s almost too late? You need someone with ADHD.
Seven days ’til the big day, if you’re a christian or if you celebrate Christmas. All that time we thought we had at the beginning of the month, where did it go?
Come to think of it, where did all the time go that we thought we had at the beginning of the year, the end of last years holiday season?
Let’s see if we can figure that out, shall we? Perhaps, like the undiagnosed ADHD that I lived with for 50 years, there are clues. Maybe, they too, are hiding in plan sight. Maybe they’re in Seasonal songs?