Archives for Coping
Here's one of the big things that helps hide ADHD from diagnosis, context. You'll sometimes hear logic used to defend against the diagnosis of ADHD that sounds like, "He can't have ADHD, he can sit in front of the TV for hours." or "She's too smart to have ADHD, when she's doing something she likes we can't tear her away from it and she's so good at it." Well, yeah. Because they could be doing their homework, or the laundry or cutting the grass or their taxes, but they've been distracted by something they like.
In Ontario, Canada, we get license plates to put on our vehicles. The plate represents the relationship between the vehicle and its owner. A new vehicle or a new owner require a new set of plates. But to maintain accurate records, the plates/owner registration must be renewed every year. Rather than issuing new plates, (like they did as late as in the 1970's, they now issue a sticker that goes on the plate. As a vehicle owner, I am obligated to go to the registration office, a place called "Service Ontario," and pay to renew my license for another year. At that time I have to also prove that I have insurance by providing them with my insurance policy number.
There is a state of mind, or perhaps a partial state of mind, that I sometimes, or possibly always am in, that keeps me unaware of many things around me. I am oblivious to things. Not all things, and not just important ones. But when I become aware of the things that I've been missing, I am usually stunned, sometimes hurt, often upset.
So, some idiot is spouting off about how he doesn't believe in ADHD. Sadly, he is a psychologist who is either misled or misquoted. And of course the hundreds of thousands of other mental health professionals who disagree with him will not be quoted because that isn't attention grabbing enough to be published. And the worst of this for people with ADHD is that they are put in a position where they are having to debate the validity of a disorder whose symptoms are present in all of humanity. That makes us sound like whiners complaining that our allowance is being taken away.
I'm not saying that addiction is the sole domain of ADHD. I'm not saying that you have to have ADHD to have an addiction. I'm not even saying that there is a higher rate of addiction among people with ADHD. I'm saying I wouldn't be surprised if there was a higher rate of addiction among people with ADHD. There are, after all, higher rates of some rather interesting things among us. Why not addiction?
I know it all sounds very "New Age" and "mind over matter" and the like, but I'm going to suggest this anyway. And those of you who have been following along will realize that this is a recurring theme that I put forward on many occasions. I'm going to tell you, once again, now that the holidays are over, to please go easy on yourself. And at this time of year, the beginning of the year for many of us, I feel it's important to start off doing this and making a habit of it.
A hoard is a collection of valuable artifacts, usually found by archaeologists. Guess what I found in my house while I was moving? Not a hoard. Well, not in the strictest sense of the word. I found a collection of artifacts that have value to me. Though quite a few of them I've already tossed out, way more than half of them are in the house I'm now living in. And if you read yesterday's post, you know that I have to sort through all of that now.
Yesterday I suggested that the lesson I learned from moving out of my home of thirty-one plus years in just five weeks was to take time to ponder decisions. Although I did concede that I did not, closer to the end, have that luxury. See, us folks with ADHD kind of have this thing where we just do what comes to mind. We are often the living definition of spontaneity. We are also, often, the living definition of regret.
It is done. At least my part is done. I've moved everything out. Locked the door for the last time. Signed the papers. Today is the closing day of the sale.And I am in a café, hiding out, out of town. I'm guessing that if you're a regular reader you are as happy about this as I am. For me it means moving on to new adventures. For you it means not hearing about my house being for sale anymore.