Archives for Coping
I have an issue with a lot of articles being written about ADHD. And as the title above suggests, that issue has to do with children.
Now don't get me wrong, I love children, I think every parent should have one or more of the little things, but I'm tired of them getting all the attention.
That may sound childish of me, but hey, that's too bad. My wife told me we wouldn't have any children until I grew up and so I've made not growing up my life's work.
Having ADHD means a lot of things. And they are subtle things. You can show signs of having ADHD and people who don't know the symptoms will never know there's anything going on with you that might lead to a diagnosis.
Those people, if asked, would talk about how forgetful you can be ... sometimes. And how you remember things other times. They'd talk about your spontaneity at parties and social gatherings, and about how easily you are sidetracked at work or school.
Most people don't see many of these things as different sides of the same coin, or perhaps it's more like different views of the same sphere. They see the person, and they can identify the uniquenesses that are apparent on the outside, but they don't see the package as being a significant set of values that can be identified.
I am not telling you that you don't have troubles. If you've got ADHD, you've got troubles.
I'm also not telling those of you that believe ADHD is a gift that you're wrong. There are those among us who use the uniquenesses of this disorder to their advantage. I believe I do that in many ways.
But I'm not going to deny that the disorder also has its drawbacks.
And technically, if you view it as a gift without negative consequences than you aren't actually eligible for a diagnosis. One of the criteria for diagnosis of ADHD is the negative impact on your life.
So I'm in the middle here. Gift? Meh, probably. Curse? Yep.
There are things that your boss, supervisor, or employer should know about your ADHD. But oddly enough, not one of those things that they need to know is the fact that you have ADHD.
Now there are exceptions to every rule. For instance, if I hadn't told Dr. Grohol that I had ADHD, he would probably not have offered me the opportunity to write about it here.
But this isn't the only place I work, and while he isn't the only boss I have that knows about my ADHD, I don't tell everyone about it.
And really, this is a special case. My job here is to tell people about ADHD.
Okay, that was a bit unfair. There's no new ADHD. Well, not really. It's all marketing, all spin, and it's all my doing.
I've just been pondering the free upgrade to Windows 10 that's being offered to me on both my Windows 7 and my Windows 8 computers. (I haven't booted up my Windows Vista notebook in a while, I'm not sure if it's receiving the same offer.)
Anyway, I'm reading that it (Windows 10) will be familiar and better. And I thought, “If it's going to be familiar, how is it going to be better?”
Oddly enough, I was just reading an article, before my computer once again “offered” to upgrade itself for free, about how people in a Scandinavian town so far north that they actually lose sight of the sun for several months each year actually look forward to those dark winter months.
So it happened today that, while I was at work, things went in a different direction from what we had assumed they would go. What we thought was going to be a four to six hour job blew up into two days.
If you've been reading my blog you know that I do a lot of odd jobs. And sometimes I work with another guy I refer to as the boss. He's pretty smart, but don't tell him I said that, okay?
So this was one of those jobs where we were working together. In fact, we had just finished another job together where we had to cut through some drywall and some old lathe and plaster to make repairs. And as luck would have it, we fell into the same kind of thing, but for different reasons.
Last weeks job was about water damage, this weeks job was to answer the question “Why is there no heat coming up through these vents?”
Do you have ADHD? Then I know what you're going through. I know what it's like to spend an entire day surrounded by the symptoms of this disorder.
And I know what it's like to go to bed at night and know that the next day those symptoms will be crowding in again.
And I know that's okay, because you know, I don't know what life would be like any other way.
Yeah, I get frustrated knowing that life could be better. I get really frustrated at the people who tell me that I just need to pay attention and I can be on top of everything like they are.
But quite frankly, if their minds aren't capable of grasping the fact that I can't actually do that, that it isn't a case of me not bothering to or not trying, then I don't really want to be like them anyway.
I've talked about procrastination before. I've mentioned it in passing I'm sure. But there are aspects of it that I've been meaning to address. I just ... well, you know.
The one big thing I've wanted to say on the subject is that somehow active procrastination hides itself. I've noticed this now for a while. Well, ever since I've started paying attention to the fact that I do procrastinate more than others, more than I should.
How does it hide itself? Cleverly. It hides itself very cleverly.
When I find myself passively procrastinating, that is, putting things off without thinking about them. Then I know they're going to nag me, they'll make me feel bad. So eventually I'll focus in on the thing I've been putting off.
People with ADHD are a group that share a cluster of symptoms and traits. That means we have lots in common with each other. And while no two of us have all the same symptoms, we can usually recognize our strengths … okay, maybe not, but we can understand why other people with ADHD are good at some things and not at others.
Why? Because there are things we're good at. And things we're not so good at.
Do you think that ADHD is a real disorder? Do you know what constitutes this disorder? Do you believe that it affects millions of people in the world, maybe billions?
I'm asking you because I know that there are people who say that it does not exist.
People like the verbose and semantic manipulating Dr. Richard Saul, who claims that ADHD is a “catch all” diagnosis and that what is diagnosed as ADHD is actually some twenty separate things that are being misdiagnosed.