Archives for Coping
I used to think I was unlucky. Thought that had to be why things went wrong. The truth is that ADHD is a wicked life master at times. As a youth, I was pretty agile. I was also pretty athletic. Go figure, a hyper-active guy who was athletic. It was, no doubt, due to my hyper-activity that I was in such good shape. As a teenager, for instance, it was nothing for me to just decide to go for a two mile run at 11PM. And I don't suppose I need to mention that there wasn't much I couldn't climb. Ha, now that I think about it, the first day that I moved into the house I currently live in I got it into my head that I should have a close look at
I've been thinking about ADHD lately. Not all the time, just now and then. And not like on a schedule or like half an hour a day or two hours a week. I just think about it when it comes up. And I have to say, that it's annoying as hell. It's almost as annoying as the random questions, “What did I come in here for?” and, “What was I supposed to be doing?” And actually, now that I've mentioned those two annoying questions, I can tell you that whenever I ask them, I think about ADHD. But not just when I ask them.
A friend named John wrote to me recently complaining of a so called news story by HuffPost Science. Damn! I liked them. They seemed to be mostly on the ball. Well, until they started spouting anti-vax rhetoric and then ... well, read on. Sadly, a lot of news organizations have jumped on the old “ADHD May Not Be Real” band wagon. They say nothing really. They quote people who sound like they might know something, quote them as if they did know something. The match pro opinion against con opinion and set it up to look like there's some kind of validity to the argument.
I just had a dental appointment. Apparently I should be receiving a medal for that. And yet, it was no big deal. I made the appointment, I put it in my calendar, my phone reminded me, my dentist's office reminded me, I got there with nearly four minutes to spare. It was all very laid back, very calm and uneventful. So why is it that people with ADHD have such poor oral health? In fact who says that people with ADHD have poor oral health?
So, there's this thing called Impostor Syndrome (A.K.A. Imposter Syndrome, Impostor Phenomenon or Fraud Syndrome). And while it is not an actual disorder or mental health disease, it has been documented and addressed as an issue by mental health professionals. It was first documented by Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes as an issue that many high-achieving women tended to have. It seems they believed they were not intelligent, despite evidence to the contrary and an absence of facts or data supporting their negative self assessment.
I just got in from telling stories. I write stories as I remember them from my youth and childhood. And tonight, I had been invited back to the church of my childhood to tell a couple of those stories I've written about my past as they were about that very town to which I had been invited. Both stories involved my mother, and since today was mothers' day I thought that was also appropriate. And they were stories that talked about the humor to be found in life, and about the human condition. And they were well received.
It's Thursday evening. Just another Thursday evening. I'm writing this for tomorrow morning so if you're reading this and it's fresh, it's actually Friday. But through the magical teleportation of the blogosphere I am taking you back to last night. But is it in fact, just another Thursday night? Well, now that you mention it, it is not. What? Oh, well, yes, I was the one that mentioned it, but that's just more blogosphere magic where I get to say things like that because you're not here to defend yourself, and I'm actually just talking to a fictional “you” in my head. What's that? Why is a fictional "you" asking questions? Good point. Stop it.
That could be a misleading title, couldn't it? Who or what is out of control? Is it a result of the ADHD? Or is it just circumstance occurring parallel to ADHD? Or is it the ADHD itself that is out of control? When I wrote the title, I thought I would be talking about the first two things. Well, actually, I thought I'd be talking about “circumstance occurring parallel to ...” But then before I even got the title written out I realized it covered situations that were “a result of ...” as well. And before I started writing those two thoughts down I realized that the title could also apply to my ADHD being out of control.
So I may be in trouble. I'm not sure. The truth is that I may have missed an appointment. Or, I might have been supposed to do something, for someone, maybe ... I don't know. I have a friend who moved. That friend used to live in another friends home. The other friend still gets mail for the friend who moved and when that happens, I get to deliver it. Just such a piece of mail arrived the other day and was handed off to me. I got in touch with its intended recipient and made arrangements to meet on Thursday to exchange pleasantries, coffee and the above mentioned missive. I remember hanging up the phone and thinking, “That's two appointments on Thursday morning.”
When someone enters into a relationship, they bring all their baggage. When someone with ADHD enters into a relationship, it's no different. Well, it's no different in that they bring all their baggage. How it differs is that once unpacked, you find out that was just the stuff they brought in their car. There's still the moving van. “What's in the van?” you ask? Well, that's all the little quirks and symptoms that make up our ADHD.