Archives for Anxiety
Holidays are times of stress. Yes, there's joy and family and planned fun. But not for everyone.
And sometimes, along with the stress, there is pain. This is the time of year we miss the ones who are no longer with us. Whether they're still alive but gone their own ways, or whether they've run their race and crossed that line to whatever is waiting next for us, if anything is.
And sometimes the stress is far more poignant, because the problems of separation are fresh wounds that happened just a few months or weeks or maybe even days ago.
I thought I might sell my home a year ago, but I'm still in it. It isn't that I can't make up my mind, it's that I just keep putting things off.
The truth is that I need to do this. My doctor wants me to either find employment that isn't so hard on me physically, or just stop doing the parts that are hard on me.
Well, unless my doctor is willing to take on my mortgage payments, I'm going to have to disappoint her ... or I'm going to have to lose the mortgage payments.
Now the truth is that my house, once the home of my late wife and I, is about three or four times bigger than I need for myself. And even better is the fact that it's worth more than my mortgage. So much more that I could
The wardrobe led to Narnia. And the rabbit hole led to Wonderland. And books led me into worlds that completely engrossed me.
Now that's pretty normal for a reader, especially one whose appetite for the written word was as huge as mine.
And since I often would go wandering in my mind into stories of my own creation, I never thought anything was unusual about the times I would suddenly realize that some period of time had passed and I had fallen behind again.
But it wasn't always daydreaming or reading that caused the time loss. In fact, I can't really say even now with six years of life with a diagnosis behind me what it is that causes that.
There are days when I start out contemplating my agenda and the next thing I know
I am not telling you that you don't have troubles. If you've got ADHD, you've got troubles.
I'm also not telling those of you that believe ADHD is a gift that you're wrong. There are those among us who use the uniquenesses of this disorder to their advantage. I believe I do that in many ways.
But I'm not going to deny that the disorder also has its drawbacks.
And technically, if you view it as a gift without negative consequences than you aren't actually eligible for a diagnosis. One of the criteria for diagnosis of ADHD is the negative impact on your life.
So I'm in the middle here. Gift? Meh, probably. Curse? Yep.
I read a lot about ADHD. And I don't limit my reading to the scientific studies, although that is certainly some of what I read.
I also read blogs like mine from people who experience ADHD first hand.
Additionally I read posts from clinicians and mental health care providers. Most of these people know what they're talking about. Good thing too, they're who many of us lean on for help.
But I also read things from people who like to pretend that they are presenting a well thought out and equally supported alternate theory or two about ADHD.
I heard something funny the other night at a party. I know it was funny, everyone laughed. Everyone including me, I laughed. I laughed and laughed.
You should have heard it, you'd probably have laughed also. You might have laughed like the others in the room, they all thought it was funny. Or you may have laughed like I did. I said I thought it was funny also. But I actually didn't know.
I had heard it, whatever it was, but I didn't absorb it. I had missed a key phrase at the beginning. I think that the grammatical structure at the beginning was ambiguous, and as I tried to figure out which way round that was supposed to be, I missed much more.
Have you taken the ADHD tests online yet? There are at least three of them. And while they aren't valid as a diagnosis, they are a place for you to start exploring, if you feel that ADHD might be an issue for you.
It should be noted that these tests might also be used by the mental health care professional that assesses you, if you do seek a diagnosis. It should also be noted that they may well give you other tests for other disorders as a form of differential diagnosis. Basically, that just means that, since some of the symptoms of ADHD can be found in other disorders, and since you likely won't have all the symptoms that are associated with ADHD, they want to rule out the possibility that you have some other disorder instead of (or as well as) ADHD.
There are lots of times that I feel like I've been stopped dead in my tracks. Sometimes, leading up to that, I can see quite clearly the next step or steps I should take. Then something happens.
What happens? I don't know. Indecision, over thinking, confusion … maybe all of those things?
It's like I'm suddenly responsible for the outcome of everything, for the well being of the universe, for the outcome of the entire history of humanity.
Research into the cause or causes of ADHD and into the possibilities of managing, treating or even eradicating symptoms of ADHD is important work. And that research needs to continue.
There are, however, some important issues that need to be cleared up. Issues regarding the interpretation of information that is shared by researchers.
The potential for false logic to be applied is great in this instance, and we need to be on guard for it at all times. I cannot stress this enough. People will lie to you and use statistics to back up their lies.
I've been told that I have anger management issues, and I can't even begin to tell you how ticked off that made me feel.
Apparently some people believe that those of us with ADHD get angry easier and more often than people without.
The truth for me is that I get angry when I'm frustrated. And if I'm frustrated by someone unable to understand that I'm not angry … well, it's a pointless debate for me to engage in because I can't win. If I'm right, the frustration will soon leave me angry and then no one will believe I'm not angry, because I no longer am. Not angry, that is.