Archives for Anxiety
For people with ADHD, relaxing is something we just barely understand the idea of. And while we are aware of how it is supposed to work, few of us have truly experienced relaxation for more than a moment or two at a time.
In fact, for some of us, the thought of sitting still and quiet is unnerving. And actually doing that? Sitting still and quiet? That's been a threat of punishment for us since grade school.
What exactly is relaxing? For most of the world, relaxing involves sitting still and meditating or maintaining our mind calmly and quietly. Often when people “go” to relax it involves finding a place where responsibilities don't exist and then wallowing in that lack of responsibility.
One of the most needed commodities in the life of a person with ADHD, is acceptance. Many of us seem to crave positive social interaction.
Yet, when our social interactions take on a negative caste, many of us are understanding of that. It's as if we just believe that we don't deserve to have positive experiences. Or as if we were trying to hide our flaws, but had to admit that, of course they would be discovered.
But I've become aware of an interesting thing with regards to acceptance. It seems to be contagious.
If you have ADHD you know that we have issues with time perception and time management. And If you read my blog with any sort of regularity you know that I often talk about that.
And the truth is, that I'm not running out of discussion about ADHD and time ... but I am getting low on clever blog post titles.
Today's post is about being busy. And that's what's happening in my world. I'm having a busy June, A busy Spring and a busy 2015.
I get lots done. Lots of little things at least. You know those things that have to be done first in order for something else to be done? I get lots of those things done.
But I don't always get the things done that I was preparing for by doing the little things. Mind you, I am getting better at it, getting those big jobs done. And I have some tricks I use.
And sometimes these tricks help me get things accomplished that surprise even me.
You know what? I've written 550 posts on this blog. I've said a lot of things. Some of them I've said tongue in cheek, and some I've quoted from other sources.
I've stated my opinions, but always as opinions. I've offered my observations, and encouraged you to share yours. I'm not always able to reply to your comments, but I try to, and we here at Psych Central approve those comments for all to see, so long as they aren't abusive.
More than just observations, opinions and references, I've shared things from my life that, although having nothing to do with ADHD, have occurred in my ADHD life. I've shared those things to give context to my behaviour and thoughts. I felt that to be fair.
But parties are places where people with ADHD can be found.
Why do we like parties? I don't know. Who doesn't like parties.
Of course there's the down side to parties. Sometimes they aren't the kind of party that we appreciate. Personally, I'm not keen on parties where there are lots of drugs. And I don't like parties where people are all trying to show their value, especially when it's clear that they are selling it and don't really believe what they're saying.
There are things I don't do well. And there are reasons for that.
No, I'm not talking about paying attention ... well, not just that.
I don't do well at running a nuclear reactor. Or, at least, I imagine I wouldn't. I've never really tried, because I've never had any training. I suspect that it involves more than just flipping a switch.
I don't do all that well shifting gears in big trucks and tractors that require double clutching. It's not that I don't know how, it's that I don't practice much.
I know, if you're like me, you have some problems. You have trials and you have stresses.
You have long bouts of cloudy brain weather followed by sunny, clear, cerebral skies when you suddenly see clearly all the things that you need to deal with, the things that have gone unseen for too long, or almost too long.
I know that you can list off times when you've screwed up. I know you often are working from the contingency plan that was put in place when the contingency plan for another contingency plan failed.
Just what is ADHD? I know, there's a clinical definition. But writing it out here would likely take up the whole post.
There's examples of development shortfalls and effects that must persist, and situations that produce certain overwhelming feelings and ... well, it does go on.
But maybe there's a shorter way to say it. Or maybe it isn't shorter, but more understandable. Maybe it would help if I gave some examples of what ADHD is.