Archives for ADHD
I'm moving. I've sold the house. I've got less than a month to be out. And yes ... I have to pack. It's not so easy, it turns out. You'd think it would just be a case of packing it all as you find it, taking it to where you're going, and then unpacking. Not the case. So not the case at all. For starters, I'm downsizing. That was the plan right from the start. Since my wife passed away, the house I live in has been waaaay too big for me.
Yes. I'm moving. I know I've mentioned it, so don't be pretending like I haven't told you. And while I'm moving I have some other things to do. I have three music gigs in front of me. There's the holiday celebrations, including parties. I'm still curling. I may or may not have promised baking to some people. Of course I'm going to blow it somewhere along the way. I'm a person with ADHD.
Last Wednesday I talked about the importance of making notes. I mentioned how just the act of writing something down would often help me remember things. Then on Friday I told about how my constant companion, my note pad, went through all but the ringer on laundry day. Lather, rinse, repeat! And yes, I was thankful that the act of writing things down is more important than the keeping of the notes. And I also mentioned that I have been remiss in relating my holiday experiences and sharing my tricks for surviving the holidays without being incarcerated.
Well, I've done it. I've really lodged myself in to a predicament now. Those of you who are following along may, at this point, be wondering what I'm talking about. You may be saying to yourself, "Is he referring to having promised holiday content and not delivered?" Or you might be saying, "Oh, oh, has something gone wrong with the sale of the house? Like, maybe it's going ahead and he's realizing he's got a month to do three weeks worth of work but no time for the three months of overthinking he'll have to do to get that three weeks work done?" Or you might be thinking, "Has he run out of coffee?"
I may have mentioned before that I keep a notepad in my back pocket at all times. It's a contractor thing. It's a writer thing. Okay, it's an ADHD thing. As a contractor, I use it to write down measurements, make lists of materials, keep track of phone numbers I don't need in my phone, or addresses I'll never need again unless I'm working there again in the future, at which time I'll get the address again. And as a writer, when inspiration hits, it isn't always easy or convenient to break out the laptop and just start writing, but I can almost always say, "Excuse me a moment ..." snap out my little paper notebook and jot down what I hope will be enough for me to remember the inspiration and the context.
I never noticed before, how often I am taken by surprise by my life and the things that go on in it. That's probably because I've never lived any other life but mine and it has been full of surprises. Not always big surprises, and not always true surprises. In fact, I'm looking at a Monday ahead of me here and I'm unsure about whether I have something I'm supposed to be doing tonight. If I do, then I've already heard about it, accepted it as my fate whether it is something good or bad, and filed it away in my Swiss cheese mind. So when I find out or am told about this evening's activities, if there are any, I'll have a moment of doubt, along with the nagging feeling that I've heard this somewhere before.
Ambivalence can mean experiencing contradictory feelings at the same time. And if you have ADHD and if you are reasonably self aware, you know exactly what that is. But ambivalence can also mean, and I'll quote Merriam-Webster here, "uncertainty as to which approach to follow" ... and that says more about ADHD than many other states of mind. That definition of Ambivalence permeates our lives and our situations endlessly. Whether it's a decision on what flavour of ice cream cone or the choice of what to study in school, ambivalence is present.
Hey. How's it going? Yeah, it's me, Kelly, the writer of this blog. I'm in the satellite office today, out on the road, holed up in a café, trying to think of something to write about. And as is usually the case in these situations when the pressure is on, my mind started wandering around. I was kind of struggling here. And then it hit me ...
I didn't find out I had ADHD until I was almost fifty years old. No, it isn't that I have mild ADHD, and it isn't that ADHD is not that obvious. It's that normal isn't that apparent to someone with ADHD. And ADHD can almost be described as the disorder of lying to oneself. See, we spend a lot of mental energy on trying to determine why things aren't working out the way they should, but since we are humans and seem to be fully functional (according to our own observations at least) it never occurs to us to
There is a not so subtle difference that is apparent in comparing the lives of adults with ADHD to those without it. And that difference may be surprising to people with ADHD, because we don't really notice it without taking the time to step back and assess our lives. People with and without ADHD have multiple interests. That's just a condition of being human. People have the wherewithal and capacity to be interested in multiple things at any given time. People gathered together in one place to experience a certain activity will, when questioned, yield a multitude of alternate activities that may not be shared with their fellow participants.