Focus? I can focus. I have no end of attention. I focus all the time, usually on things I should be ignoring. I focus on social networking when I should be breaking open my word processor to get things written. I get distracted by the radio or the television when I should be heading out the door to get things done.
But is it distraction or procrastination … When I know I should be doing something else, am I being distracted, or is it procrastination? Or does it matter? Are they essentially the same thing?
I can become aware that I should be doing something else and with great conviction, make a decision to put down the thing that is holding my attention and move on to what I should be doing … and then, once I’ve decided, get distracted again.
Or worse, I can decide to move on to the important stuff and then think “just two more minutes” and, while feeling good about my decisiveness, end up forgetting the time limit.
Once I’m on the right road, getting things done, making progress, I also have a problem keeping in mind the many other things that will eventually need my focus when the current task is done.
Another issue is the transition when a job ends. Failing to complete something or succeeding to complete it often has the same result as far as what happens next. I get distracted by the task either way, and can’t pull my mind away from it when it’s over.
And still another issue for me is focusing on things in the future. Dwelling on them might be a more appropriate word. These are things that may never happen, or if they do, they may not be as bad as they seem.
Future anxiety is a constant focus issue for me. Things that I know are coming and that I should do something about will often make me freeze. Things that might never happen, most likely will never happen, these things hold my attention and rob me of sleep and peace of mind all the time. I am kept in a limbo of brilliant scenes of future problems that tie my hands and render me unable to perform my day to day obligations.
I’ve found ways to make myself get up and go, or settle down and relax, depending on what the time of day calls for. But there are times when I’m tired of the battle, and could use a real rest.
As always, I move forward. I have no choice. I’m not a quitter. I have no wish to give up.
I just wish I could set the more annoying attributes of this disorder,the distractions and the procrastination on a shelf for a week. Just long enough to take a wee break.
Yes, a wee break would be nice.
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Last reviewed: 18 Jan 2014