I try to keep an open mind about my life, but writing about ADHD three times a week makes it hard to think of life in any other way. I don’t know if I can get through a day without thinking about ADHD and the effect it has on me.
I don’t recommend anyone wear their ADHD on their shirt like I do, but that doesn’t mean that they can leave it behind on their pillow when they get up in the morning. I just don’t know if I can get through a day without thinking about it?
“How can I write about this? What’s the lesson here? Where’s the insight? What’s here that I can share?”
The truth is, I think about my work, my blog here, often through the day. And the reason that happens is many times a day I screw up. I’m thus reminded of my ADHD and the first things … okay, the first things right after I swear, that come to mind are “How can I write about this? What’s the lesson here? Where’s the insight? What’s here that I can share?”
Like I said, I don’t recommend this. It highlights the most trivial of issues and holds them up for me to dwell on. It’s stressful, but I don’t know if this is what everyone else goes through.
I’m whining … a little … maybe more than a little, I know. My problem is this: I think writing a blog makes me very aware of the smallest details, makes me dwell, makes me overly sensitive. My disorder has become my entire world. But I don’t know that for sure, because I started blogging around the same time that I was diagnosed and the more I learned about ADHD, the more I wrote about it.
The deal is, I don’t know if my problem stems from knowledge or action. But the rest of the deal is, to some extent, I don’t care. If it’s the blogging, I can handle it. Good thing too, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking like this any time soon. So if I gave up blogging I know I’d be lost.
And if it’s what I’ve learned about ADHD, then it isn’t going to go away. I might as well keep up the blog, it’s a great way to vent.
So I’m going to keep blogging about ADHD,I hardly have a choice. Without blogging I’d go insane … er. You know what I mean.
This discussion has brought something else to the surface of my consciousness, the primary diagnosis I suffer from is not ADHD, it’s being Kelly. It’s a chronic and, I fear, terminal disorder, that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But, on the other hand, neither would I trade it … for anything.
I’m a lucky guy, I get to write about both these diagnoses, ADHD and BKD, Being Kelly Disorder.
“So, how can I write about this? What’s the lesson here? Where’s the insight?”
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Last reviewed: 17 Jan 2013