Having ADHD is a burden. Among other criteria, our symptoms must have a negative impact on our lives before a valid diagnosis can be made. Ergo, burden. If it isn’t a burden, you don’t have it.
But you know what? I have other burdens. I don’t look like Keanu Reeves (I think I’m a better actor, but I don’t look like him). I also am not an Olympic athlete or a multimillionaire. I’m technically unemployed. I do everything I do in a manner that I like to refer to as freelance. I do this because it sounds much more positive than saying I’m either working some short term job or I’m looking for work.
Yeah, okay. Not just another burden. Not even just one burden, it’s a plethora of burdens (burdii?).
And part of our problem is that we have a hard time remembering things, and prioritizing things. If stuff is complicated and dull, we walk away from it. We’re not avoiding consciously, we can’t help it. So how do you remember ever part of your ADHD? How do you prioritize how to deal with every part? And even if you could do that, how do you deal with the fact that you need to deal with different aspects of your ADHD at random times when interaction with the world around you brings those parts to the forefront?
And if the normans think it might be easy, let me remind them that our lives are playing out on fast forward, so even if they think they could do a better job than we do, let them try it at this speed!
We get by. We must. Sure we’re not where we feel we should be, not as far ahead as we could have been if we “had it all together AND remembered where we left it.”
The biggest burden for me is often procrastination. Oh, and poor management & perception of time. And I guess I’m going to have to add prioritizing to that also, since I can’t quite figure which of the first two is the greater burden.
Today is the quicksand of now. It’s that dull and grey mire that is eating up my potential ability to accomplish what I set out to do.
I can tell myself I’ll spend five more minutes on some frustrating thing, declaring that if that hasn’t conquered it I’ll move on to the next task. I’ll decide that at that time I’ll return to this one … but then I’ll not look up from it for a half hour or more. And I’ll be surprised that five minutes chewed up so much of the minute hands path, that I’m once again late for some other appointment or task.
Tomorrow is a big wonderful world of possibility that looks golden and shimmering in the mirage of the future that quivers before my ever hopeful eyes. That sounds beautiful, but tomorrow is not a time we’ll ever enjoy. Like the spinner kept in the tower trying to spin straw into gold, we experience an endlessly repeating today.
If it sounds like I’m a bit down today, it’s because I am. I get frustrated with my lack of progress. But I caution you not to worry to much. Thankfully, lack of self awareness and poor memory will quickly take away negative thoughts. Perhaps those two burdens are more aptly called coping mechanisms. That’s a cheering thought, isn’t it?
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Last reviewed: 24 Jan 2013