Man, I read some of these kitschy things and they just make me crazy. I mean, what a lovely sentiment, until you realize that your story began at a wedding, if you’re referring to the story of a couple. Your parents wedding might have been the beginning of your story, or you might have been the beginning of the story of their wedding …
Stories probably are more likely to start when you leave home, maybe we should look back to the beginning of mankind …
Sorry, got sidetracked, I have ADHD you know. My point is that there are some pretty lame excuses for art out there, and that’s hardly a reason to buy fancy writing on canvass.
And if it isn’t actually a valid sentiment, it riles me up pretty good. Okay, I’m willing to admit that my opinion is just that, an opinion. You don’t have to share it. But the impulse buyer is the target market for these things, and who impulse shops with more vigor than those of us who suffer the subtle abuses of ADHD?
Yeah, see, that one makes sense. Until you ask yourself “Was I actually dying, crying and hating?” Worse, am I so absentminded that I need to put a sign on my wall to remind me to live – laugh, maybe, but live? Don’t even mention love to me, it is an integral part of me. I examine that emotion daily. In fact, it is my muse. It is the driving force behind most, if not all of my lyrics and many of my blog posts.
Huh? Of course they’re watching, you keep stepping on feet and knocking your partner over. Wouldn’t it be better to have a motto on your wall that says “Stop believing that everyone cares how you look when you’re dancing, that’s paranoid!”
How about a plaque that, in ornate gold script on crackled wicker-white MDF says: “Brush your teeth!”
I do have a weakness for some motto embellished things. Ones that are cleverly funny or subtly true in a humorous way or laced with a bit of irony will get me every time.
I think that’s pretty honest. I have a list of mottoes that ring true for me:
I could do great things if I wasn’t busy doing all these little things
Heavily medicated for your protection
Be the change you’d like to see in the world
I’ve written a few myself. They’re maybe not as funny as I think they are, but I’m rather proud of them:
If you distract me one more time I’m going to start a new pile!
Be the distraction you’d like to see in the world.
What the world needs now is fewer distractions
… and more squirrels.
Okay, that’s enough talk of silly mottoes and impulse purchases of same. If you’re looking at this post trying to find inspiration for gifts for people from my tribe this Christmas, may I suggest a bag of digital timers, or a copy of Driven to Distraction. There are also some great shirts out there, here and here and here. And you can’t go wrong with to-do note pads.
But for a really great Christmas gift for someone with ADHD, I’m suggesting a warm hug and a plaque with the words “You are amazing, not in spite of or because of your ADHD. You are amazing just as you.” That, is gold.
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Last reviewed: 9 Dec 2012