So last week, we got ourselves diagnosed. It was difficult, but worth it. Then we found our way through the ADHD maze. On Friday I went on a bit of a rant. Sorry. Good for my stats, not for disseminating information. But it’s okay now, I got it out of my system.
Today, we’re going to embark on a journey through the rest of our lives. No, don’t go yet. This isn’t a bus tour, there’s no tour guide. We’ll have a meeting here, then head out on our own. We can keep in touch, but we all have different things to do. I, for instance, have to clean out my dining room so my motorcycles will fit in there.
So, you’ve got ADHD, me too. Here are some pointers to help you keep your head above water. Let’s start with the Jasper Goldberg Adult ADHD Questionnaire you filled out on Monday. It wasn’t Exhibit “A” in your trial, it was a list of issues that pertain to your life. And that’s how you should treat it, as a laundry list of things to work on.
Before you pin it up on the family bulletin board, go through it and decide which items bother you. There’s no point dealing with your mind wandering from tasks at work or school if having a multitude of unfinished projects is bothering you more.
At this point I’d also like to advise against ever pinning your answers to the bulletin board. Don’t post them on Pinterest either, or Facebook. Too many people will be willing to help you keep on track. Only you can know when keeping track of your traits is important. An example might be you interrupting a conversation and bolting from the room. If they knew you were working on focus during conversations they might re-engage just to explain. They wouldn’t know you just remembered to pick your child up, a half hour ago. They’re trying to help, but they’re making it worse. And though it’s not your fault, you’ll blame yourself, I know you will.
So put your list in your night stand drawer. Look it over at the end of the day. And for heaven sake, don’t use it as an assessment of your day, use it as a planner for tomorrow. If you’re new to your diagnosis, trust me, you’ve been beating yourself up for a long time over what you thought was your irresponsible nature. These aren’t responsibilities, they’re traits that you don’t admire in yourself. They’re harder to fix than bad habits, and harder to keep fixed, but you’re on the right path.
Beating myself up over my oddities will not help me improve my life. And that’s the bottom line here, improving life.
So we’re stepping into something new. We’re stepping into our ADHD, engaging the traits we believe need to be dealt with. To do that we need all our strength. We can’t afford to waste any of it on personal chastisements or abuses. Stepping into ADHD with purpose is going to be hard, but so worth it.
I’m not beating myself up over the fact that I keep my bikes in the dining room in the winter. I can’t keep them in the living room, the canoe is in there. And I have other things to concentrate on. Beating myself up over my oddities will not help me improve my life. And that’s the bottom line here, improving life.
You’re not on your own, but we can’t travel together. So here’s the plan, find your community and keep in touch with it. I’m happy to have you all meet here and compare notes. Our comment area isn’t really conducive to social networking but feel free to use it. I’ll always reply. Well, sometimes I miss a comment or two. And sometimes I take a while to respond, but I try.
So away you go, try to fix things, then come on back and report to the rest of us. And if I can find a place for us to hang out here on the internet, I’ll let you know. It would have to be free. And huge, there’s lots of us. And friendly. Hmmmm, any ideas?
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Last reviewed: 19 Nov 2012