There are days in the life of every ADHDer when they wonder why they were born. Why did they need to be put into this world to suffer the indignities that are visited upon them so very often. Embarrassment, ridicule, punishment, misunderstanding, all this and more is S.O.P., part of an ADHDer’s everyday life. Yes, there are days …
And there are good days also, though they get fewer and farther between as we grow up, grow older, start to see that no one gets out of life alive and the days we have left to retrieve our dignity are dwindling.
I’m not trying to bring anyone down here, though I suspect I’m doing a poor job of buoying up your spirits. In fact, I’m trying hard to retrieve my own dignity, to dispense with accepting the judgment of others as the yardstick by which I measure my life.
But frankly, all too often I find myself judging my own behavior and finding myself wanting. And all too often I feel at a loss to find and initiate ways to improve. I’m not giving up, but I am getting a bit frustrated.
The problem, besides my personal judgment bringing me down, is the fact that, just as others attitude towards me affects me, my attitude towards me affects them. If I have problems with myself, others are going to feel that it is acceptable to have those same problems with me, my behavior, my ADHD. And that is not acceptable.
Who isn’t frustrated with their ADHD? Who isn’t frustrated with the way others treat them? I suspect that I’m far from being alone in this. I feel certain that many of you are struggling to find ways to curb the the more extreme parts of you that set you too far apart from humanity in general. And I suspect that your self-flagellation has encouraged others to gauge your value. So, if you’re like me you are working on those around you. You’re working to have them accept the quirks you have that you feel shouldn’t be discouraged, adjudicated, examined in detail, used as evidence of your unsuitability as a peer, compatriot or acquaintance.
I’m hoping for your success as much as I’m hoping for my own. Together we have a much better chance of quelling the stigma generating stereotyping of those of us who would dare to want to live a decent life despite our mental differences.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Look around you during this Halloween season. See the people who are dressed in odd ways, saying strange things, acting impulsively, foolishly, wildly. Notice anything? Yep, Halloween seems to be an excuse for everyone to behave in a manner that could be driven by the very symptoms we try to hide.
So lets just take the day off from worrying. Lets be ourselves. Lets let our inner inappropriate child out and not worry about what others think.
But just to be on the safe side, get yourself a damned good costume first. And hey, why don’t we start a movement to have Halloween extended next year? How does Halloweek sound to you?
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Last reviewed: 31 Oct 2012