Last year, on September 15th, I was welcomed to the Psych Central family by Dr. John Grohol’s inaugural post on ADHD Man Of Distraction. On the 19th of that same month, my first post appeared – and I was pumped!
I was writing about something I was new to, yet something I had known about all my life with an intimacy that should be reserved for love and faith. I was full of discoveries and memories, and discoveries of how my memories were colored by my ignorance of my ADHD.
I love to write, and I love to share what I know, and share what I think. I would’ve been in heaven if my life hadn’t been turned upside down by my wife’s suicide a mere month and a half earlier. She’d always been proud of my writing, and I took this knowledge with me every time I sat down to write. I knew she would have been happy that I was happy if she didn’t have other, more painful things on her mind.
In my first post, I said:
“In future posts we’ll explore this stigmatization and many other interesting misconceptions. We’ll look into medication and therapy, explore books and cognitive therapy programs, we’ll even try to find the less than effective approaches to ADHD treatment that are financially driven rather than care driven.”
I know I’ve discussed stigma, and I’ve talked about books as recently as last week. I’ve certainly mentioned medication in general if not specifically. And I seem to recall sounding off about ADHD “cures” several times along the way, but I don’t remember mentioning cognitive therapy very much. I’ll have to try to rectify that, won’t I?
I asked for this job. I asked for it and I got it. And I promised that I’d publish three posts a week. Now, if anyone was counting, I didn’t actually succeed. I missed posting three posts one week, one week out of 52. I think I’ll call that a win.
I posted on official holidays and on my own holidays. I sometimes wrote my post the morning it was due, and once or twice I posted late in the day, and one time I think I was more than a day late, but I posted it.
This is my 158th post in 366 days. Good old leap year, eh? So I’m here to tell you … that I’m still here. I’ve taken on this repetitive job. It’s a job that requires commitment. And it’s a job that can make you feel thrilled and happy a moment before it leaves you feeling stunned, hopeless and helpless. And I’m still here. I have ADHD, and I’m still here.
So I know it’s hard. I know that we’re not whining (okay, maybe a little bit). But really, it’s more about feeling less alone. And I know it’s often easier to give up, to give in and go home. I know that we can feel like we’re really getting somewhere, only to be brought up short by the realization that we forgot where we’re going.
No, it doesn’t. It gives us the right to forgive ourselves for our foibles, but only if we use that forgiveness as part of the fuel to shake our heads, get our bearings and get going again.
And you’ll see me along the road; I’m not giving up. We’re in this together, and I’m more thankful for your company on this journey than I can tell you with mere words. I admire and honor you all.
And I thank you for a great first year.
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Last reviewed: 19 Sep 2012