Let’s play a game. I call it ADHD style Rock/Paper/Scissors. It goes like this. I wake up in the morning, get my coffee and breakfast, quickly check my email for an hour or so, and then try to figure out what I should do for the day.
And then, there it is, the sudden realization that I am back at that recurring point of confusion in my life. That’s the point where I am faced with the challenge of answering the question “what next?”
That’s a big, depressing challenge.
We’re not able to prioritize things. Obviously we recognize there are things that need doing. But which ones do we do first?
I often feel like I’m an observer of an ongoing game of rock/paper/scissors. I need to get several things done, and many of them are interconnected.
I need to clear out my old office in the basement of my house. I want to put my workshop in there. My workshop is currently in a different area of my basement.
There is also an antique shop in my basement that was my wife’s. Since her passing I have done little with this space for emotional reasons. But I would like to reclaim that space for a rec room. That’s what it was before it was a portal to the past.
I’ve decided that my old workshop will be storage space, every ADHDer needs storage space, right? So I think that if the storage is organized properly, I could move the antique shop stock into this storage until I figure out what to do with it.
The stuff in my old office is of varying character, some of it is garbage and some of it is valuable, useful items. Most of it falls in that grey area in between and needs to be sorted.
I can’t really sort through stuff in the old office … in the old office, there isn’t enough room (see photo). It would be great if I could haul it all out into the rec room to sort through, but there is no rec room yet. There would be a rec room if I could pack up the antique shop stock and put it in the store room, but there is no store room yet. If I could shift my tools into the new workshop I could clean out the old workshop and create the storage room I want, but there is no new workshop ’til I clean out and sort the things that are there. *sigh*
When faced with this, my brain usually freezes. Nothing gets done. It’s like a “divide by zero” error in a computer program. It doesn’t compute. Zero is a number that represents an absence of something. As a number it is given the same respect given to all other numbers, but it doesn’t play fair when it comes to division. Why? Cause it either answers it’s own question or fouls up everything. “How many times does one go into zero? Zero times!” “How many times does Zero go into one? Uh … what??”
The mess is to embarrassing, I don’t want the experience that bringing in help would cause. If only I could find a personal assistant with a strong back, a sense of humor, and a sense of respect. Not very likely …
It often seems like the best solution would be to toss a stick of dynamite into the basement. And I’d do it, but I’m afraid the resultant mess might actually be an improvement over what’s down there. Now that would be embarrassing.
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Last reviewed: 27 Aug 2012