Well, it’s been more than a week since I discussed the relationship between ADHD and time. How did that happen?
Okay, you’re right, I should apologize … but I’m not going to. Yes, I know that the first two posts last week discussed this very relationship, but last week was also last month. (I know that’s a bit of a reach, but I really want to write this post. Impulsive of me, wouldn’t you say?)
On Monday, July 23rd I said: “It’s the same part of my mind that still wonders what I should be when I grow up.” On Wednesday, July 25th I said: “I don’t worry about whether my time is running short.” And now I get to tell you why I don’t worry about whether my time is running short.
Better still, I get to tell that I actually don’t need to wonder what I should be when I grow up … because I’ve decided.
That’s right, I know what I’m going to do when I grow up, I even know what I’m going to do before I grow up – I’m going to do … EVERYTHING!
Well, I’m going to try to squeeze in everything I can squeeze into one mismanaged life. I’m going to be and do whatever takes my fancy at any given time. I’m going to be adventurous, spontaneous, maybe a little bit wild.
Okay, there is a couple of lines I won’t cross. I won’t hurt anyone knowingly. I won’t get out of a perfectly good airplane in midair, even with a parachute. And I won’t eat tofu … ever again. (It doesn’t agree with my digestive system, ’nuff said!)
Guilt is anxiety’s first cousin and I’m not fond of that family’s gene pool.
But I will do things, good things, exciting things. And I will not feel guilty about them. Guilt is anxiety’s first cousin and I’m not fond of that family’s gene pool. I have had a colorful past. If I think of it as practice for my future. And if that’s the case, I think it would be sinful to practice colorful and then start living grey, wouldn’t you agree?
I don’t want to feel bad about my past and I want even less to feel bad about my future. So I’m going to proceed the same as I have up until now. I’m just not going to let it upset me when I look back and see the scattered, intermittent, hit and miss bits of my life strung together with twine and plastic wrap. They’re held together that way because they don’t fit neatly into each other like a puzzle.
My life is eclectic, it has been up to now and so it shall continue. I shall not regret this. Instead I shall revel in it. I know I need to make changes in my life, but I also know that there are things I can’t change and even some things I could change but shouldn’t. And so I shan’t.
And I’d invite you to do the same with your life. We know that many of our symptoms are only controlled by aggressive behavior modifications. My stance is that these modifications would be a lot easier to learn and maintain if we were coming to them from a position of calm and stress-less-ness. Acceptance of ourselves is going to go a long way towards that advantageous state of mind.
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Last reviewed: 3 Aug 2012