We didn't always fit in ...

We didn't always fit in ...

Dinner with a friend had become twenty questions. She was asking me about ADHD, about blogging, about many things. I don’t need much encouragement to talk. If anything I need discouragement.

Then she asked me if it was important to me to educate people about ADHD …

I paused, and thought. The question wasn’t what I was expecting. I do talk lots about ADHD, and not just here. I would call myself an advocate, even a zealous one on occasion.

So, is it important to me?

The truth is, it’s important to me that I educate people about ADHD, but it’s even more important to me that I let people with ADHD know they’re not alone. I get a greater sense of accomplishment from hearing people say that they recognize themselves in what I say. I am saddened when I hear that, until that point, they had felt alone. But hearing them say they feel like they have found a community here cheers me greatly.

But, why is it important?

My dinner companion didn’t know it, but she’d started me thinking about why this was important to me. And I may have figured this out. Up to the age of fifty, I was undiagnosed. I was also an underachiever socially. I felt like I was alone in being the way I was, like there was no one else like me. I spent my life avoiding engaging with people or engaging from behind my keyboard from where I could edit my communications, as I said on Monday.

It wasn’t until my diagnosis that I started coming out to play. And even then it was with a bunch of ADHDers. I fit in with them, with their group.

Was it always this way?

My family accepted me, but when I left them to strike out on my own I soon learned that I was not the successful social animal I’d thought I was. In fact, I was a bit of a dud.

Facts and figures, do the math …

If ADHD is represented in approximately ten percent of the population, and there were, on average, 30 kids in my one room school (yes, I’m that old) then there were three of us. If there had been opportunities for diagnosis, we would have been said to have “Minimal Brain Dysfunction” but there were no such opportunities. Because we were ostracized we did not look to each other as a peer group, but rather we secretly aspired to be included in the “in crowd.”

How wrong could I have been?

So, I had little opportunity to locate my own kind and confirmation (of sorts) that they were not worth associating with. A sure way to guarantee a lonely childhood, or at least one that is lonelier than it needed to be.

Better days … I hope …

Now, we not only think outside the box, we are out of the box. The box has been dumped. We, its contents, have been inflicted on society and the box itself has been broken down and put in the recycling (I should have kept it to put some of these piles of papers in). And we gravitate towards each other, we sing in each others hearts and minds and we cheer each other on.

And I like to think I am helping this along. Perhaps I’m being too kind to myself, but if so, don’t tell me. It’s a pleasant delusion.

 

 


Comments


View Comments / Leave a Comment

This post currently has 2 comments.
You can read the comments or leave your own thoughts.

Trackbacks

From Psych Central's World of Psychology:
Best of Our Blogs: June 22, 2012 | World of Psychology (June 22, 2012)

From Psych Central's website:
What Does ADHD Mean To You – Readers Write | ADHD Man of Distraction (June 29, 2012)






    Last reviewed: 20 Jun 2012

APA Reference
Babcock, K. (2012). ADHD Education And Community: Both Are Important. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 24, 2014, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd-man/2012/06/adhd-education-and-community-both-are-important/

 

 

Subscribe to this Blog: Feed

Recent Comments
  • Kelly Babcock: Thanks, but that doesn’t explain the onset of the pain in my teens and twenties … or the...
  • Marky: Make sure your serum calcium isn’t staying in the 10s. It’s a long shot but you possibly have an...
  • Kelly Babcock: I would have stuck with the meds. Since the root cause of ADHD is that the brain did not develop in...
  • Jenn: The only thing that has helped my ADHD is Truehope. It literally got me off meds, got me focused and helped me...
  • Kelly Babcock: Thanks as always, Susun, for reading and for sharing your experiences. Kelly
Subscribe to Our Weekly Newsletter

Find a Therapist
Enter ZIP or postal code



Users Online: 12240
Join Us Now!