For many of us, daily life is about “going through the motions.” How often do you drive from point A to point B without remembering how you got there?

Are you able to focus on one activity at a time or are you a multi-tasker who juggles five things at once?

Modern life is not always conducive to staying in the present moment, but as we are learning in the addiction field, the practice of mindfulness can bring greater joy into daily life and also help recovering addicts guard against relapse.

Increasingly, the field is embracing Eastern practices, including mindfulness meditation, as an adjunct to traditional addiction treatments.

In the past two decades, mindfulness has been incorporated into a variety of therapies, including:

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

• Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR)

• Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention (MBRP)

What does an addict who has lost everything in their pursuit of drugs and alcohol have in common with the person who has it all – a great job, a loving family and an immaculate home? Although they may appear to come from opposite worlds, perfectionism can be at the root of both great successes and great struggles.

Although paradoxical, where there is addiction there is often perfectionism. Underneath the addiction may be a person whose unrealistic expectations have caused them to give up on their goals and “check out” through drug and alcohol use. Of course, not all addicts are perfectionists, but it is often black-or-white thinking that drives the unhealthy thought and behavior patterns behind a number of addictions and mental health disorders.

Here are some of the ways perfectionism and addiction are linked:

Early recovery is a confusing time, not only because returning to “normal” life outside rehab can be jarring but also because the brain takes time to heal from the cognitive impairments caused by prolonged drug use. With the aid of neuroimaging, we can see the physical changes that take place in the brain as a result of addiction, and we know that in most cases, it can repair itself over time.

Many recovering addicts, frustrated by difficulties remembering things, concentrating for more than a few minutes, understanding abstract concepts and solving problems, ask, “I stopped using drugs – why do I still feel so confused?”

One year, five years, 10-plus years into recovery, it is not unusual to hear of someone relapsing. What happens? There are endless possibilities but a common explanation is, “I quit going to meetings.” So why do people stop going to meetings (whether AA/NA, SMART Recovery, LifeRing or some other form of group support)? And are they destined for relapse as a result?

Here are some of the most common reasons people give up on meetings:

#1: I don’t need them anymore.

Complacency leads many recovering addicts off course. When the program starts working and the recovering addict begins to feel better, they think they got what they needed to get out of meetings. Rather than wanting more of a good thing, they stop working their recovery program.

There are so many tragic stories in the field of addiction, and no shortage of onlookers who are drawn to the shock and awe of addicts’ war stories. It’s easy to lose sight of the brighter side of the story: Treatment works and people do recover.

This was the message of a survey released last week by The Partnership at Drugfree.org and The New York State Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services (OASAS), which found that more than 23 million people (10% of adults) in the U.S. have recovered from drug and alcohol problems.

This is a part of the story that is not told enough. If told more often, perhaps we would see more addicts moving beyond the shame and stigma of addiction, getting help, and sharing their success stories. Just as importantly, it would remind the 23 million Americans who have yet to find recovery that there is hope.

Why Hope Matters

Hope matters in addiction recovery because put simply, without hope nothing changes. Few people set goals or pursue them if there is no hope of achieving them. Few people embark on a difficult task if there is no hope of completing it, or at least reaching important milestones along the way. Those who cannot envision a future that is brighter than the present may fall further into drug use, depression or worse, give up on life altogether.

I remember driving past a church one evening with a colleague. A large group of people stood out front, shrouded in an impressive cloud of cigarette smoke. “AA meeting,” my colleague remarked. He didn’t actually know this for a fact, but this is one of those iconic images of recovering alcoholics: coffee cup clutched in one hand, cigarette in the other.

Treatment programs don’t usually address nicotine addiction; they say it is just too much to take on in the early weeks or months of recovery. It is probably the most common cross-addiction. People who quit smoking years ago will start up within days of quitting drinking, looking for something to make them feel better.

Recovery from addiction can feel like a game of whac-a-mole™, that classic carnival game where you mallet a mole as it pops up from its hidey hole, only to have one pop up from another hole. Whack away; there is always another mole taunting you from another hole.

Cross-addictions are nothing new, but the fact that treatment centers are now addressing them during the first 30 days of recovery is.

Anyone who has managed to avoid addiction (whether to drugs, work, sex, food, or some other substance or behavior) is fortunate indeed. But those who have not may not be as unlucky as they think.

In drug rehab, addicts learn life lessons and skills that many people don’t learn until much later in life, if ever. As a result, I believe people in addiction recovery often lead happier, more meaningful lives than the general population (with noted exceptions for those who continue with diseased thinking and behaviors regardless of what they learned in drug rehab).

Here are some of the possible reasons for this turnaround:

#1 Recovering addicts are grateful to be alive.

Gratitude is a recurring theme in 12-Step recovery. Early on, addicts are advised to simplify their lives, making their recovery their primary focus. This clears space for the things that matter most – personal growth, health and family – and drives many to make long-needed changes in their careers, relationships and lifestyle.

Some relapse triggers, such as stress, job loss, isolation, the death of a loved one, and other distressing events or feelings, get a lot of attention during treatment, and rightly so.

But sometimes it’s the happy moments (or the seemingly neutral ones) that sneak up and trigger a return to drug use. Here are five triggers that often take unsuspecting recoverees by surprise:

#1 Sex and Relationships

An oft-repeated (and oft-ignored) cardinal rule of early recovery is to avoid dating for at least the first year. This advice is not intended to punish, but to give the recovering addict time to focus internally – to figure out who they are, what they want and how to cope without using drugs or alcohol – before trying to be a source of support for someone else.

At a time when recovering addicts are most likely to want a relationship and least likely to be prepared for one, they are at high risk of falling into the familiar pattern of looking outside of themselves to fulfill emotional needs, escape or relieve stress. Some people rely on the “high” of a new relationship as a substitute for drugs or alcohol. Cross addictions to sex, love, romance or relationships are a major cause of relapse among the newly sober.

Human beings are social creatures. Although we may not always like it, we need each other. For recovering addicts, who likely lost a lot of old drug-using friends when they got sober, this can be a particularly painful realization. Without conscious effort, early recovery can be a lonely time.

This is where one tried and true component of addiction treatment – a strong social support system – can bolster long-term recovery. A social network can keep recovering addicts invested in their recovery program even if they lose motivation, get discouraged, or become complacent or over-confident.

Research suggests that social relationships provide emotional support, a sense of belonging and stress relief. While higher levels of social connection improve quality of life, lower levels have been linked to relapse.

For an addict, it seems that there is no undertaking more daunting – and no accomplishment more gratifying – than getting sober. With drugs and alcohol out of the way, the possibilities are endless.

While this is true for many people in early recovery, there are exceptions. Particularly in the first year, some recovering addicts experience “dry drunk syndrome” – a period when they become inexplicably angry, depressed and distant and are at increased risk of relapse. Much to the dismay of loved ones, a new way of life that began in treatment can take a reversal, resulting in even greater dissatisfaction and instability than before the addict stopped drinking or using.

Not to be confused with the inevitable ups and downs in early recovery, dry drunk is a high-risk stage marked by drug cravings, distorted thinking and emotional dysregulation. Although the recovering addict manages to abstain from drug or alcohol use, they either haven’t made the changes in other areas of their lives essential for a fulfilling, productive and sober lifestyle or they made progress only to return to long-held negative attitudes and patterns.

A dry drunk is characterized by: