Archive for February, 2013

5 Things To Know Before Dating An Addict

Monday, February 11th, 2013

datingIn working with the spouses and significant others of addicts, I’ve often heard it said, “I’d rather be an addict than love one.” While few people would ever walk eyes-wide-open into a chronic disease like addiction, the statement speaks to the confusion, loneliness and despair common not only among addicts but also the men and women who love them.

A history of addiction doesn’t necessarily turn Mr./Mrs. Right into Mr./Mrs. Wrong. In fact, addicts who are solid in their recovery can make excellent partners. They’ve waged a courageous battle, spending a great deal of time working to take care of and improve themselves. But before you put yourself in a position to fall for an addict, there are a few things you need to know:

#1 Love does not conquer all.

For anyone considering dating an active addict, it is important to realize that love cannot conquer addiction. Addiction takes priority over everything – you, children, career, financial security, even one’s own freedom. Before diving into a relationship, find out if your prospective partner is actively using drugs or alcohol, or if they display addictive or compulsive patterns in other areas (e.g., gambling, work, sex, food or spending).


 

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Recent Comments
  • Ellie: Grief can affect yourself hugely when in recovery and so can it affect the family and friends of an addict....
  • Karen Bidwell: I do not view relapse as failure as it is important to remember that recovery is a process, not an...
  • been there too: I understand that it is very hard to get past being deeply hurt by someone’s addiction, but...
  • Kate: Good post, as most are. Just for those not dealing with a substance addiction, much of this post does not apply...
  • Barbara Dudley: Great topic and information…Will absolutely share and thank you for posting…
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